Sunday, July 22

Inbetweens - Laws you can't get away from

Some oldies.....but still funny!
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.


Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


Variation Law: If you change lines in a store (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)


Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Bio-Mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee : As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Location : No matter where you go, there you are.


Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

18 comments:

craziequeen said...

Theatre Rule - there's always someone late to the movie and they have to walk across your feet to the only spare seats in the theatre.....

I always sit on the aisle because cinema seats bring on my claustrophobia, so this Rule is guaranteed for me....

Michele sent me this morning, Judy :-) I love these...

cq

M. CHRISTOPHE said...

Today on my daily photo Blog about the Town of Château-Gontier (France) my subject is about humanism.
It is high time that humanism is with dimensions in Wall Street and on the other stock exchange places in the world.
Come and visit my photo blog.
Make that our indifference does not make us to them next victims.
Relay this fight in your own blog.
In advance thank you for them.

Bernie said...

Oh, and how true are some of these...

Here from Michele's tonight, and it's late, so I am off to bed!!!

Duke_of_Earle said...

'b' thinks only some of these are true? Judy, these are immutable laws of the universe! The proofs are numerous. (Kinda like the famous "C" I blog about frequently, no?)

John

Loren said...

Here's a corollary to Wilson's Law, kenju:
If you like a new television program, it's bound to be canceled mid-season.

Suzz said...

Love these ... and they are all true!

Traci Dolan said...

Truisms, every last one. Also, I have met 20 or so bloggers, and I haven't been hacked to death yet. You're more likely to be injured or killed by someone you know and are intimate with than someone you just met so your daughter should worry about the 2nd time you meet someone, not the first. I'm being facetious, forgive me, and enjoy HP!!!

Anonymous said...

Another Law of the Workshop: When a tool is dropped, it shall find the nearest big toe and land on it!

Anonymous said...

I needed to read those before I head off to bed. Too tired to add more.

Michele sent me have a good laugh!

Anonymous said...

These are great and all so true. Saying a great big hi as I randomly go through some of Michele's participants for Meet N Greet :o)

Kay Dennison said...

Thanks!!!!!!!! This is just what I needed -- and ohhhhhh so true!

Tabor said...

The law of grandchildren is they only visit after the floors are mopped and the windows cleaned of the last fingerprints!

LZ Blogger said...

LZ's Law... Murphy was an Optimist! ~ jb///

Shephard said...

I love the probability of being watched. lol

~S :)

Marybeth said...

Hi, Kenju! Michelle sent me!

Kristi said...

These are so true. And funny! Wilson's law is so true. I loved my Yoplait Cherry Chiffon yogurt. And then they stopped making it. :(

carmilevy said...

These are going onto the side of my monitor, Judy. They'll keep me smiling while I research and write!

I often like revisiting funnies that have made me smile earlier in my life. Thanks for bringing these back.

Michele's smiling, too!

scrappintwinmom said...

Hysterical, and true.
Michele sent me!