Friday, February 16

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee." (This is my favorite!)

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should make all you technologically challenged people feel feel superior:A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand..." "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"


Marie said...

These are great!! I love the thermos one too... and the phone. LOL!

Hi from Michele's!!

yellojkt said...

The classic punch line to the Thermos joke is "How does it know the difference?" Your version is much funnier.

Greg Finnegan said...

The phone joke is priceless.

Two blondes walking down opposite sides of the street. One hollers to the other, "How do I get to the other side of the street?' The second hollers back, "Why? You are already ON the other side of the street!"

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much fun I had with those! Thanks for the laughs! Even the picture is great!

Beverly said...

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not blond. Those are wonderful. I like your new spot.

claude said...

My favourite is the last one! Just great.

Shephard said...

I like the popsicle one too. lol
~S :)

Carolyn said...

LOL to all of them! Especially the "golf balls" one ;D

poopie said...

Nothin' like a good blond joke :) Nice new place!

Hale McKay said...

LOL - I like the "thermos bottle" and "cell phone" the best.

Good stuff, Judy.

Crimson said...

A blonde at a doctors appointment: "doctor! it hurts everywhere I touch!" She proceeded to push her knee...."OW!" Next, she touched her cheek, "OW!"...Her head, butt, foot, and elbow recieved the same complaint. The doctor finally looked at her and said,"Um, your finger's broken."

My sister is blonde, i've never heard a blonde joke I didn't like. =)

srp said...

These are too funny. I also like the thermos and cell phone ones the best.

There is also the blonde who thought that Cheerios were doughnut seeds.

Tabor said...

I cut and pasted your blog and sent it to my boss who is on vacation and who just happens to be blonde...I guess that will change my evaluation this year!

Terri said...

Finally got your new "home" listed on my favorites page, so I know how to get to you.
Once again....very happy I'm a

Linda said... a former blonde, I should be offended, but since I have a fiery temper, I became a redhead and can CRACK up at those jokes.

How about this one: How do you know when a blonde's been using your computer? There's white out all over the screen.

Why did the blonde get kicked out of the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W's.

oh, I had a million, just can't remember 'em all.

Michele sent me!

Anna said...

What a nice way to end the day...these were great Judy! Night.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Good ones, all!

But... How DID he know she was at WalMart?

(Heh, Heh)


Cris said...

These are really great! A blonde bought an air conditioner and did not make any payments. After some time she got this phone call from the store and they wanted to know why she was behind on payments and she said: But the salesperson told me it would pay off in a year!

Carmi said...

These are delightful, Judy. There's something deliciously cute about blonde jokes: it's as if blondes are the last identifiable group that can be made fun of.

We won't tell my blonde daughter, though.


Becky68 said...

Those are hilarious! I liked the golf balls one best. Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier.

margalit said...

I love blond jokes. I have to be careful though, because one of my children is blond and takes offense. But they're so funny!

Thanks for the hearty laugh.

Anonymous said...

Judy, I could write a thesis! I started learning all the blond jokes years ago out of self-defense. I love em.

Here's a favorite:

One day, a disgruntled blond was driving around, wishing there was some way to prove that she was smart. So, she decided to put on a brunette wig and display her intelligence.

Later on, she drove past a field of sheep. She got out of the car and commented to the farmer how cute his sheep were and asked if she could have one if she guessed how many he had. He agreed.

The blond (in the brunette wig) stood thoughtfully for a moment, surveying the field. Then she triumphantly exclaimed, "you have 147 sheep!" "Weeeell, little girl" the farmer drawled, "you sure guessed right. Go'n gitchurself a sheep."

She went off and found the cutest one and brought it back in her arms, exclaiming "I bet you think I was pretty smart, guessing how many sheep you have, huh?"

"Yeup, I reckon", the farmer allowed. then asked, "but if I tell you what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back?"

I love that one!

Oh, and if you're wondering why I use blond and not blonde, (It is allowable, you know - the dictionary recognizes both) it is for two reasons - First, blonde just feels too highbrow for me. Second, the "e" in blonde is silent - and there is nothing silent about me!

Rhea said...

The "Closed for Winter" one is good.

Maria said...

I have a blonde daughter-in-law who hates blonde jokes. Out of respect to her feelings, I never e-mail them to her. This does not however, keep me from enjoying them immensely myself.

I loved waking up this morning to find that you had posted so many wonderful ones. Count me in on your favorite. I think it is mine, too.

Anonymous said...

New blonde jokes every day at:

There are more than 120 posted now.

tiff said...

Oh, MOSt excellent!

And this comes from a L'Oreal number 8 (not ash)


Pearl said...

heh, you favorite is mine too.

Raggedy said...

Hahahaha! I like the last one the most. Thanks for the chuckles.

Anonymous said...

Two blondes from Texas decided to go to Disneyland. They drove all the way to California, consulting their map frequently. When they got near Anaheim they saw a road sign that said, "Disneyland Left." They turned around and went home.