Friday, September 18

Thoughts on Marriage

(I didn't write this!)

You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
Or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to

another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding

ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband,
There is no better revenge than to let

her keep him.

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm

still paying.'

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of

Africa a man doesn't know his wife until

he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That

happens in every country, son.'

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness

was until I got married,
And by then, it was too late.'

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you

say talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men

would go through life thinking they had

no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky,

mine's still alive.'

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To

understand a man, to Love and to

forgive him, and for patience, for his


Because Lord, if I pray for Strength

I'll just beat him to death'
Another email gem from Pat! Thanks!


Pat said...

Not this Pat BTW. On the whole - and he 'aint no saint - I wouldn't change him for all the tea in China.
Enjoyed the quotes tho':)

bobbie said...

Funny - and sad too. We all hit rough spots with our spouses and have to grit our teeth and get through them. But I thank God every day for the husband I had for 18 short years.

Darlene said...

Sooo funny. I laughed out loud at the dad who said, "That happens in America, too." It could have been the mom saying that.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I have heard some of these before but it's always fun to read them again, plus the new ones as well....Fuuny stuff, Judy.

AussiePomm (Bernie) said...

Love it!!!!

Very funny... But for me, I think we could simply swap the references to him/husband, to her/wife and it could be just as funny!!!

MaR said...

Loved it! gotta share it with my lady friends :)

Dianne said...

I love the one about wearing her ring on the wrong finger!!

Sheri said...

You may not have written them, but you probably could have ;-) I've missed reading your wit and wisdom this past summer!

Peter said...

My wife ran of with my best friend........
I didn't know him, but he's my best friend.

David Edward said...

funny thanks