Tuesday, June 14

The following questions were in last year's GED examination.
 These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds. We are in serious
trouble!!)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
 like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.             
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery .       
Q. Name a major disease associated with cancer.  A. Premature death.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)


10 comments:

Pat said...

Either one can celebrate their wit or despair at their witlessness:)

Star said...

Yes, nature really does abhor a vacuum. Sigh.

Ginnie said...

Is it the fault of the kids ... or should the blame rest on the parents ? Kids need to WANT TO LEARN and that starts at birth.

Kay Dennison said...

Hmmmmmmmm . . . I can't say a word about this without cussin' so I'll just thank you for coming by, Sis!

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha Ha!

"A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery . "

Yep, about right then. :D

Arkansas Patti said...

Ha, I may not be smarter than a
5th grader but I am smarter than some 16 year olds. Thanks for the ego boost.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry....I chose to laugh; otherwise it would be too depressing. Thanks Judy... ~Joy

srp said...

I believe it.... schools teach psychology of self worth and self esteem and totally miss the mark on reading, writing, math, science and history. Basics people... basics.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I don't believe these are the "real" thing. Some of them sound like they were written by comedy writers. And if they truly ARE the real thing, wee are in deep deep doo doo.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

This one is my favorite: Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Very relevant to all the news we hear about the politicos lately.