Friday, June 3

   CONFUCIUS did NOT say...
   Man, who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
   Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
   Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
   Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
   Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
   Man who runs in front of car gets tired; man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
   Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
   War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
   Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
   It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.
   Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
   Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
   Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.


Kay Dennison said...

Thanks!!! I needed a laugh!!!

srp said...

Judy!!!! Where is your mind going with these! ☺
It took a while to get a few but then was my face RED! Just tired.

Arkansas Patti said...

Kind of like saucy Berma Shave signs. Really cute and tickled my funny bone. Thanks.

Grannymar said...

That made me smile.

I have copied and pasted to send on to friends that will love this.

Nancy said...

Very funny and, more than that,CLEVER!

I like the 2nd one best.

I have also heard that man who sleep on hill not on the level.

Ginnie said...

Poor old Confucius gets blamed for so many off-color sayings ... he's probably squirming in his grave.
My favorite is the man who drives like hell will probably get there.

Ashleigh Burroughs said...

These could be my favorite laughs of the day! THANKS!!