Tuesday, May 24

Oldies but Goodies


 1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.
 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.   
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . .. . . .  but it's still a gift.


LL Cool Joe said...

A lot of rap music has already become golden oldies! :D Now that's scary!

Looking to the Stars said...

I love all of these but #21 is my fav :)

Kay Dennison said...

Every day is a gift. That's why they call it 'the present'.

NellJean said...

There will be NO old ladies wearing tattoos. They'll all be dead of brain cancer from wearing a cell phone in their ear all day above their tattooed neck, or some other cause related to lifestyles of the young and careless.

Does it show that the furniture promised for today was not even scheduled and mail came to my address with somebody else's name on it? Careful Sleuthing revealed that a private college bought our names from the State licenseing board and paid good money to some contractor to send a huge mailing to the wrong addresses.

Anonymous said...

It is never too late for hello...

Arkansas Patti said...

Seventeen is scary but then I am sure our parents thought that about rock and roll.

Pat said...

# 20 has proved to be a true saying to me.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

I have thought about 17 so often and 19 is also oh so true for me personally. Did you make these up or did you find them on the Internet? Can I copy?