Wednesday, October 6

The Last Hurrah

You may have seen my rant last week about Blogger/Picasa/Google telling me that I had reached my limit of uploaded photos, and couldn't post any more on my blog without buying extra photo storage. That's not likely, since I don't think it is fair - but afterward - I deleted a bunch of photos from Picasa and I was able to post the photos in the last post.

I just tried to post a photo of the last roses of the season tonight, and was once again told that I had reached the limit. What I don't understand is how deleting at least 30-40 photos allows me space enough for only 4 or 5 more photos??? I don't know anything about "sizing" the photos (as someone mentioned) so it is all Greek to me. 

At any rate, my only rose bush is putting out its last neon magenta hurrah, and I was hoping I could show you the last eight blooms. The purple petunia is blooming its little heart out too, as are the  pink and yellow lantanas. These plants are all within the confines of the fence, but the ones that are out in the front yard are taken by the deer as soon as they bloom. My front yard looks like a desert.

There may have been another last hurrah in this household. I took my driver's license test today, and they asked a series of questions I don't remember being asked the last time I took the test. Such as:  have you had heart trouble? Have you had a stroke or seizures?  I was able to answer no to all of the questions, but I wondered what that might mean for mr. kenju (who had a stroke three years ago), so I asked the examiner if there was anything a stroke victim should know before they attempt to take the test. She said that he would be given some papers to have filled out by his doctor and would also have to take a road test. I did the eye and road signs test. I  only missed one sign, and I passed!!
When I delivered that information to mr. kenju during dinner, he was frustrated and sad, saying that he might as well not even try to take the test - since he would probably fail it. He has tried to drive once since his stroke, but only for a few blocks in our neighborhood. The last time he drove any distance was the day he had the stroke, 38 months ago. The way he put it was..."I'll be dependent on you for the rest of my life, under your thumb everywhere I go." I certainly understand his frustration. If I couldn't drive it would devastate me. I'd probably go to bed and pull the covers up and stay there. He knows I have been deathly afraid of his trying to drive - so at this point I don't know what I can say to ease his frustration - he won't believe me anyway. How would you handle it?




22 comments:

srp said...

It is a really hard topic to approach with my folks too. Mom's reaction time is ok but she really hasn't learned all the different controls on the new van. She has always tended to depend too much on the "kindness of strangers" inhabiting the car in the next lane... oh they will slow down when I pull over... type thing. Dad does most of their driving but his ability to react is almost non-existent. I cannot ride with him driving.. so I try to drive them and if they insist on going by themselves, I simply have to hold my breath til they get home.

Kay Dennison said...

Try another source or upload them to a folder on your desk top. It's what I've been doing since the getgo. I also have the free version of Photoshop and it works well, too.

Get Mr. K. the paperwork and show it to him.

Thank God they don't do that in Ohio.

Gilly said...

As far as I can see, men hate being driven by a woman! But I can understand his frustration, as when we got rid of my car, I felt my independence was going, as I would have to ask every time I wanted the car.

However, I made it clear it was a shared car, and staked my claim!

All I can suggest is that you make sure you are doubly willing to take Mr. K wherever and whenever he wants at first, so that he doesn't feel he is begging.

Does he sit there telling you how to drive?? Just grit your teeth and bear it (advice from one who suffers!)

G in Berlin said...

I'm so glad the Mr. hasn't attempted to drive. If he thinks that he would fail the test, then he really shouldn't be driving. We had to have the dr. take my grandmother's license away and we were terribly afraid in the year before that, that she would kill herself or others while driving. But it is hard to be in the US, which has no decent public transportation outside of a few cities when one need to do things:(.

Lynn said...

I have always wondered what would happen when I reached my photo limit on blogger. Hmmm. I wonder how much money the extra photo storage is?

The driving thing is hugely frustrating for those who have been barred from that or feel shaky about it - my dad hated that feeling of being confined. A tough position for you, too, although you speak so lovingly of Mr. Kenju, that I'll bet you don't mind driving him around.

Arkansas Patti said...

Judy, this is so tough. We will all eventually reach a time when the keys have to be hung up.
Perhaps it is good that he is doing it voluntarily if grudgingly.
What an amazing loss of freedom that must be. I totally dread the day that happens here, but know it will.
Thankfully, he has you.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

He probably wouldn't be open to taking driving lessons, but if he was, it could boost his confidence level. :-)

Granny Annie said...

I don't know what we'll do if we ever reach the point that Ron can't drive. He hates my driving and it is not justified. I have never had a ticket. He swears that is what makes me dangerous, I'm too cautious.

LL Cool Joe said...

Kenju, I upload all my photos here, it's so easy.

http://imageshack.us/

When the photo uploads use the link that says HTML Code.

If you use it, it doesn't take use any storage space in blogger. It's totally free and excellent!

There is also a resizing option you can use. I don't because I do that in photoshop first but it's there if you need it.

Olga said...

There is something devastating about loss of a driver's license, but I have had to deal with family who should not have been allowed behind the steering wheel. It is hard all around and I dread the day...

Ashleigh Burroughs said...

My dad was 84 when someone called the DMV and said he was a menace on the road (too true) and he was forced to take a driving test.... my thanks for the prompt (from you and Ronni over at Time Goes By) for a post tomorrow.
a/b

robin andrea said...

There are no easy answers to your and Mr. K's dilemma. He could be thrilled that he now has a chauffeur, but the loss of freedom and autonomy is a scary prospect. It's one of life's hard transitions. I hope he makes peace with it.

Beverly said...

Oh my, that is so hard. When I had a hemmorhage in my right eye some years ago and lost the central vision, I feared the day coming, and still do, when I would have to give up my license.

We here in the US are so dependent on our cars. I do wish that Florida had something similar to what North Carolina has...too many drivers here who should NOT be on the road. I might still have my husband today if that were the case.

Rain said...

I paid for Picasa over a year ago and use it as my primary photo program where I store photos (81GB for $20 a year) for me it's worth it as I like it better than what I had used before. I have 1.17GB on there right now and use it for movies as well as slideshows. I also use the Picasa program to crop, straighten and refine photos I have taken.

On the driving, it's a tough one. If you have the resources, suggest that he take a taxi once in awhile when he wants to go somewhere you do not. They aren't that expensive in some cities and definitely give a liberating feeling. Autos aren't that cheap to take places either given cost of insurance, upkeep and fuel.

Celia said...

So sorry you and Mr. Kenju are going through this. It's a big independence issue along with all the other things and a feeling of declining health. Is he depressed? I had a "little" stroke many years ago and was sad and frightened. Has he recovered in other ways? If so maybe a supportive counselor could help him and some regular exercise if he's able, that helped me a lot. Never did recover about 6 months of memory. Had to change jobs. Lots of things need to be relearned again after a stroke.

mamie said...

Very touching post on a difficult subject (your hubby, not the photos). I hope you can reach a solution that leaves you both feeling like winners.

Juniper said...

Photos... not sure if I'm missing something here but I just store mine on my hard drive and upload them to my blog from there.

Driving... being 3 months into being dependent on others to get anywhere, I can understand the frustration and lack of independence. It's a tough balance between that and safety on the roads though.

J.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Having to give up driving is giving up a part of your independence...we all know it and fear it. My mother was devastated when she had to stop driving. I have a friend who hasn't been able to drive anymore since her stroke several years ago...her perception is not the same. She went as long as she could before she gave up her car; but her doctor warned her that she was taking serious chances and shouldn't do it anymore. To this day she HATES having to rely on other people to run her errands and take her to appointments. I know how Mr. Kenju feels; but neither one of you want to worry over a possible accident to both of you...or someone else. The decision to have to stop driving comes to all of us sooner or later. Hugs to you both...~Joy

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I know the Frustration Mr. Kenhu feels, my dear. Though I still have my license--(Probably won't, next time around) I dopn't drive anymore because ofr my hip. It is frustrating and also depressing--PLUS, I don't have anyone that can drive me except on rare occassions--PLUS---I cannot go anywhere anyway! So, I feel for Mr. Kenju....And hope he will be able to adjust to what, in a way, he is already doing....It is tough, I know.

As to Picassa...Bute the Bullet My Dear....It is really a Miracle we haven't had to pay for this all along! It is more aggravation NOT to buy the extra space---Believe Me! Once it is done, you won't have to think about it anymore.

Just as Mr. K has to somehow get used to NOT driving anymore, you may just have to spend that $20 bucks.

spunfull said...

When faced with having to deal with something unpleasant that MAY happen in the future, my go-to line is always, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it".

That's what marriage is all about - better or worse, sickness or in health. Tell him that you know he'd do the same for you if the situation was reversed.

Carver said...

I can sympathize with how hard it is knowing what to say to your husband. After my mother's stroke, not being able to drive was as hard for her as not being able to walk. She said she could handle not being able to walk if there was some hope of driving. No advise but I can empathize.

As far as the photo goes, the file size is the deal so if you deleted photographs that were a smaller file size and are uploading ones that are larger that's the problem. It's really easy though to set up a free flickr or photobucket account and copy them into a blog post. Let me know if you try it and need help.

Peter said...

If I were to loose my license to drive Judy I would gladly have you come and drive me around!!!!!!