Thursday, January 14

Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year when the

Darwin Awards are bestowed. The guy who

sent me this email left out # 1. Shouldn’t he

get a Darwin award too?

The honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a

finger in a meat cutting machine and

submitted a claim to his insurance company.

The company expecting negligence sent out

one of its men to have a look for himself.

He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.

The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to

clear a space for his car during a blizzard in

Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

woman had taken the space. Understandably,

he shot her.

4. An American teenager was in the hospital

recovering from serious head wounds received

from an oncoming train. When asked how he

received the injuries, the lad told police that

he was simply trying to see how close he could

get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

5. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a

$20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.

When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man

pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the

register, which the clerk promptly provided.

The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,

leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total

amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.

[If someone points a gun at you and gives you

money, is a crime committed?]

6. An Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty

badly so he decided he'd throw a cinder block

through a liquor store window, grab some

booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block

and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinder block hit the window, bounced

back hitting the would-be thief on the head and

knocking him unconscious. The liquor store

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event

was caught on the stores CCTV.

7. As a female shopper left a New York store, a

man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called

911 immediately, and the woman was able to give

them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the thief.

They put him in the patrol car and drove him back

to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car

and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he

replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I

stole the purse from."

8. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a

man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan

at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The

clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't

open the cash register without a food order. When

the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said that these

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,

walked away again. - THIS WAS AWARDED THE


9. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline

from a motor home parked on a Seattle street,

he got much more than he bargained for. Police

arrived at the scene to find a very sick man

curled up next to a motor home near vomit

and spilled sewage. A police spokesman said

that the man had admitted to trying to steal

gasoline, but he pushed his siphon hose into

the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The

owner of the vehicle declined to press charges

saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Remember.... They walk among us and they breed.



srp said...

These are always so funny!
I am going to try and be back.
Much work on house and technical difficulties with blog... no excuses really.
It has been so cold here that my new flowerbeds are too hard to plant the bushes we got Stephen for Christmas. Right now it is 19... it seems to be colder around our little area than over in VaBeach.
But... on the bright side... perhaps the mosquitos and crabgrass will be less obnoxious next summer.

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

Pretty funny!

Pat said...

Was # 7 dumb or just a wise guy?
# 8 deserved the award IMO:)

Arkansas Patti said...

I have seen these but still laugh at the sad little people in this world that make us look like mental giants.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

#9 - Gross and hilarious all at the same time!!! I love it.

Granny Annie said...

I loved the robber taking $15 and leaving the $20. We always enjoy the Darwin Awards!

Star said...

Can I tell you , that as I work with the public daily, I am not surprised. Amused, but not surprised.

sage said...

these are always funny

robin andrea said...

I love these awards. They always make me laugh, and laughing is a very good thing these days.

Kay Dennison said...

I always love the Darwin Awards!!

They remind us that common sense isn't common.

Darlene said...

I love these things.

rosemary said...

hysterical....the scary part....breeders.

oklhdan said...

Love them all! Hilarious

Looking to the Stars said...

These were good. I loved your comment. What's going to happen to the world with future generations of these people? I guess the smart people are going to have to bail them out :)