Saturday, November 14

APHORISM

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH

(oldies but goodies)

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.
I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!
Always be yourself because the people who matter
don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

14 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

Love these!!!! And I don't know how to be anybody but me.

Arkansas Patti said...

I am always thrilled when that 4 AM call is a wrong number.
And OMG, teenagers.

Pat said...

'Always be yourself because the people who matter
don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.'

This helped me a lot when I left my marriage.

Nancy said...

Judy,

I like:

"Summer is the time when kids slam the doors they left open all Winter."

Darlene said...

Very funny and very true. Thanks for the giggle.

bobbie said...

The best is about buying a dog

sage said...

Good advice. I especially like this one: "Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail."

Beverly said...

After 50...yes, indeed.

Pagan Sphinx said...

Hi, Judy!
The last quote is priceless in its straightforward wisdom.

You're probably tired of me always trying to explain how hard it is to travel here, but I think I finally found a route to you that works!

That is...if I remember it again the next time I want to visit!

Gina

LL Cool Joe said...

Great list. I'd like to believe the last one was true.

Jo said...

Omigosh, I LOVE these...!!! Can I borrow some of them!?

Granny Annie said...

You were right to highlight the last on in red. It truly tells the tale.

Chancy said...

"Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail."

So true

Grannymar said...

'If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense.'

Boy, could I have used this one last week! ;)