Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken? Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath....... Darn......I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police
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20 comments:
Good stuff, I like those calls. Thanks Kenju
My day started with a laugh. Thanks Judy.
My favourite 'Is this her first child?'
I laughed :)
All good ones, Judy! Aren't people funny? They are all weird except you and me.
As far as the ham and cheese sandwich goes, I think we need to know the rest of the story!
Funny stuff. Sadly I think I understood the "why" of some of them. And I do walk amoung ya'all.
Loved the last one.
Funny but all too true. Those 911 operators must get frustrated at times.
Judy,
How about this one.....
A man's wife collapses on the living room floor. He calls 911.
Dispatcher; 911 What is your emergency"?
Caller: "My wife is unconcious on the floor."
Dispatcher: "we'll send help right away,Sir. What is your address?"
Caller: "543 Hyacinthe Parkway."
Dispatcher: Can you spell that,Sir?"
Caller:" No, How about if I drag her over to Elm St. You can pick her up there."
I like 'is this her first child' too!!!
great stuff
Judy...these are hilarious. My son is an emergency dispatcher for a local police department, and believe me we roll on the floor over some of the calls he gets. You can't make this stuff up.
Those are hilarious!
Funny, but not funny ha-ha:
911: What's your emergency?
Caller: Can someone please stop the people from coming out of my TV into my living room?
I don't know how 911 responded, but I know they responded quickly and this caller got some necessary help with whatever was causing her hallucinations.
I heard about it from someone in 911.
Kenju, Totally off topic, but I didn't want to go into details on my blog because I'm trying to get Troy the Trolly Troll to leave me alone.
I wrote about an article that was covered in both local papers and some television news. It was a shocking story of a little league dad gone wild on his kids, at least that's how it was reported. Since then, he whiles away fairly large chunks of time on my site from his workplace.
What he does now, so that he doesn't say anything outward, is to copy something from a comment about him and post it as his own comment like this:
"...blah blah blah."
It seems to be a little harrassment tactic to make sure I know he's still mad and he's still watching me. If he keeps it up, he'll be seeing new problems with the prosecuting attorney in his county to go along with his family troubles.
He's an internet nutjob who obsesses on baseball, 9/11, and me. Yay me.
Very funny stuff.
Isn't it amazing how....oh what's the word.....silly? stupid? confused? funny?....people really are?
You have a NEW header.... Beautiful!!!
I love your new header, Judy.
I think these callers to 911 are the same ones who showed up at the Town Halls screaming stupid things.
I love these...too funny.
Thanks for the input on my formica vs granite quandry. I was all settled on formica and then I stopped at the granite place today...brought home some samples and hubby likes granite better, what the heck? This is the man who never has any opinions on house stuff...go figure ;)
LOL....Oldies but Goodies...!
Oh and I forgot to say that your Header picture is really BEAUITIFUL!
I love reading something that makes me smile!
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