Friday, September 4

Authentic 9-1-1 calls....They Walk Among Us

Oldies, but goodies from email.

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

I heard what sounded like gunshots

coming from the brown house on the corner.

Do you have an address?

No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

9-1-1 What is your emergency?

: Someone broke into my house and

took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

: Excuse me?

: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and

left it on the kitchen table and when I came back

from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite

out of it.

: Was anything else taken?

Caller : No, but this has happened to me before

and I'm sick and tired of it!

9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't

have an eleven on it.

This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven

are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

My wife is pregnant and her contractions are

only two minutes apart

Is this her first child?

No, you idiot! This is her husband!


Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all

out of breath.......

Darn......I think I'm going to pass out.

Sir, where are you calling from?

I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are

you an asthmatic?

What were you doing before you

started having trouble breathing?

Running from the Police


Shiny Rod said...

Good stuff, I like those calls. Thanks Kenju

Grannymar said...

My day started with a laugh. Thanks Judy.

PI said...

My favourite 'Is this her first child?'
I laughed :)

bobbie said...

All good ones, Judy! Aren't people funny? They are all weird except you and me.

Granny Annie said...

As far as the ham and cheese sandwich goes, I think we need to know the rest of the story!

Arkansas Patti said...

Funny stuff. Sadly I think I understood the "why" of some of them. And I do walk amoung ya'all.
Loved the last one.

Ginnie said...

Funny but all too true. Those 911 operators must get frustrated at times.

Nancy said...


How about this one.....

A man's wife collapses on the living room floor. He calls 911.

Dispatcher; 911 What is your emergency"?

Caller: "My wife is unconcious on the floor."

Dispatcher: "we'll send help right away,Sir. What is your address?"

Caller: "543 Hyacinthe Parkway."

Dispatcher: Can you spell that,Sir?"

Caller:" No, How about if I drag her over to Elm St. You can pick her up there."

Dianne said...

I like 'is this her first child' too!!!
great stuff

Joy Des Jardins said...

Judy...these are hilarious. My son is an emergency dispatcher for a local police department, and believe me we roll on the floor over some of the calls he gets. You can't make this stuff up.

Buzzardbilly said...

Those are hilarious!

Funny, but not funny ha-ha:

911: What's your emergency?

Caller: Can someone please stop the people from coming out of my TV into my living room?

I don't know how 911 responded, but I know they responded quickly and this caller got some necessary help with whatever was causing her hallucinations.

I heard about it from someone in 911.

Buzzardbilly said...

Kenju, Totally off topic, but I didn't want to go into details on my blog because I'm trying to get Troy the Trolly Troll to leave me alone.

I wrote about an article that was covered in both local papers and some television news. It was a shocking story of a little league dad gone wild on his kids, at least that's how it was reported. Since then, he whiles away fairly large chunks of time on my site from his workplace.

What he does now, so that he doesn't say anything outward, is to copy something from a comment about him and post it as his own comment like this:

"...blah blah blah."

It seems to be a little harrassment tactic to make sure I know he's still mad and he's still watching me. If he keeps it up, he'll be seeing new problems with the prosecuting attorney in his county to go along with his family troubles.

He's an internet nutjob who obsesses on baseball, 9/11, and me. Yay me.

robin andrea said...

Very funny stuff.

rosemary said...

Isn't it amazing how....oh what's the word.....silly? stupid? confused? funny?....people really are?

srp said...

You have a NEW header.... Beautiful!!!

Darlene said...

I love your new header, Judy.

I think these callers to 911 are the same ones who showed up at the Town Halls screaming stupid things.

Shelly said...

I love these...too funny.
Thanks for the input on my formica vs granite quandry. I was all settled on formica and then I stopped at the granite place today...brought home some samples and hubby likes granite better, what the heck? This is the man who never has any opinions on house stuff...go figure ;)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL....Oldies but Goodies...!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh and I forgot to say that your Header picture is really BEAUITIFUL!

Travelin'Oma said...

I love reading something that makes me smile!