You post old emails!.....
The boss walked into the office one morning not
knowing his zipper
was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant
walked up to
him and said, 'This morning when you left your house,
did you close
your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd
garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed
his fly was open,
and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's
question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by
her desk to ask,
'When my garage door was open, did you see my
Hummer parked in
old mini van with two flat tires..
An older gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have
him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the
gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family
must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!'
An older couple had dinner at another couple's house,
and after eating, the wives left the table and went into
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said,
'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was
really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the
'What is the name of that flower you give to someone
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then
turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's
the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients
being discharged. However, while working as a
student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already
dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet,
who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.'
remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells
them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up
from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?'
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you
can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe
you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice
cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that,
write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down,
I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and
whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife
a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for
a moment ,
'Where's my toast ?'
A man said to his eighty-year old buddy:
Three old guys are out walking.
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a
new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to
get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking
down the street with a gorgeous young woman on
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris
and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mama and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said,
'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'