Sunday, June 21

Father's Day ~ A Redux

Back in 2005, I wrote about my dad. Many of you would not have seen this, so I'm posting it again. Happy Father's Day to everyone who is - or ever wanted to be - a father.



And to my former son-in-law, I wrote this letter. Although I am sure he never read this, someday I am hoping that he will stumble on it. He doesn't deserve to be called a father.

15 comments:

rosemary said...

We have a life experience in common...the s-i-l that was a horse's ass, left my daughter with an infant, was in prison, never paid a penny towards child support surfaced a few years back as a decent citizen. He has been in Christopher's life since then and is paying the 65K he owes. I posted a photo of him at Christopher's grad. My daddy was the same kind of man....a provider. My mother the dominant one.....after my last child was born my dad became a dad and papa.

Tabor said...

Life sure hands us a full plate. I am sorry for the pain you felt for your daughter and her children. There is nothing worse than feeling this and being able to help only somewhat until they get to the other side, which apparently they have!

John said...

Thanks for sharing those old blogs. Your Dad certainly does live on in your heart. You were lucky to have such a great Father. No wonder your ex son-in-law got to you.

My Dad smoked those camel non-filters too.

Unfortunately I also have already lost my Dad, and I feel pretty much the same way towards my ex son-in-law that you did. I too have moved on though, but what a waste of time he was in my daughter's life...he contributed absolutely nothing but heartache.

I haven't done my Father's Day post yet, but I will. I wish my daughter didn't have to work today, but at least she is smart enough not to ask for time off or call in sick during these bad economic times. We can always celebrate together later.

Arkansas Patti said...

Wow, two emotional posts. I am so glad you got to know your Dad for he was definitely a loving man who was appreciated by many.
I am sorry you, your daughter and grand children had to know your ex son in law. What a loser, who is missing out on a wonderful gift, his children.
So glad there was a happy ending for the family. I know he left a hole in the kids lives but sounds like new dad is doing all he can to patch the wounds.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I am also missing my dad today as well. He was a very good person and well loved by so many.

Joy Des Jardins said...

That post on your son-in-law just rips my heart out Judy. There's nothing harder than having one of your children...and your grandchildren hurt by someone you cared for and felt was a good husband and father. It's a hard thing to understand and get over; but apparently your daughter and family have moved on beautifully....how wonderful and blessed you all must feel about that.

Your dad's post was wonderful...made me think of my dad...I miss him very much. Happy Father's Day Judy.... ~Joy

srp said...

I should have sicked you on my ex.
Just grateful that we will no longer have to see each other... at least hopefully not.

Granny Annie said...

Your tribute to your Dad is so wonderful you must post it every year. Your son-in-law shouldn't share the same space.

sonia a. mascaro said...

Congratulations on Father's Day to Mr. Kenju.
So beautiful tribute to your Dad.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

I hope Mr. Kenju had a wonderful father's day weekend. Thanks for posting about your dad, but that letter to your ex-SIL really touched me so deeply. I'm so glad that your daughter has happily remarried and obviously you love those grandkids with all your heart. I don't understand neglectful dads or dads who abandon their kids. But, I've known so many men (and a few women) who provide material stuff beyond belief but are simply not there emotionally.

My dad was a "wierd" dad in many ways, but he loved me and I always knew he was doing the best he could. Thank God my own sons (and my ex SIL) are such good dads.

Travelin'Oma said...

Your dad sounds like a man to look up to. Your SIL does not. It is devastating when fathers break the hearts of their children. Your daughter and grandkids are lucky to have had your support and love through those hard times. I hope their lives are happier now.

amarkonmywall said...

Morning, Judy! Since I m a little weepy this Father's Day- missing my own father and always worried about Bud- I chose to read this this morning, and I only read the letter to your father. I love the water color you did and I love the post, although for me, it points out all of the parts of his life that you didn't know. That's an amazing funeral turnout! I had much the same experience with my father, especially during the growing up years. I think with lots of men of that era there was more than met the eye. Maybe that drive to be a good bread winner was more about doing well, as much as possible, what he knew well and felt confidence in, taking responsibility in his own space while your mother exerted herself in hers. I'm sure you, of all people, have done your share of reading between the lines of your father's life. Very nice tribute, Judy.

themom said...

That son-in-law story began to make my blood boil. He is one of millions like him. there are so many men who become superior fathers and understand the "unconditional" roles. then there are the - others. I made up my mind a long time ago, that since my grandson has no father in the picture, we provide all positive role models. He does wonder why he doesn't have a father who cares about him - which literally breaks my heart. We walk on eggshells sometimes, so he doesn't perpetuate the role of his "sperm pop."

Darlene said...

Judy, your tribute to your dad and your letter to your son-in-law really touched me.

My dad was the opposite. He was good looking and a ladies man. He left my Mom for another woman when I was three and soon left her for another woman. He never sent one dime toward my support and I never heard from him until I sought him out when I was 18. In many ways I wish I had never done so. He was a selfish pouting liar and I have no fond memories of him at all.
My grandfather, bless him, filled the gap in my life.

I need to write a letter to my soon-to-be-ex son-in-law telling him how he almost destroyed my daughter and how I feel about him. Then I will tear it up and hope it makes me feel better.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a wonderful tribute to your Father, Judy...It is anmazing that he lived to 91, considering the Asbestos and the cigarettes...Bless Him, and you!

The letter to your former son-in-law is very powerful. I can understand why you were so angry....And I am glad your daughter happily re-married and that he is a good father to the children.
It is so very strange and so very sad that the twins wwre treated in such a terrible way....One hopes they will not be scarred for life by this indifference from their father.