Tuesday, June 24

FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN (I got it in email)

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be 'meetings.'

3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' (Witness blogging.)

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them. (Amen.)

5. You should not confuse your career with your life. (That's hard not to do.)

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (Preferably to music.)

7. Never lick a steak knife. (What if it has juicy bits on it?)

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. (or maybe laziness)

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time. (I like it, though.)

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment. (I can attest to that!)

11 The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. (I KNOW I am.)

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails. (I agree.)

13. Your friends love you anyway. (We can always hope.)

14. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. (But the lone amateur had some good guidance.)



Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start out as
grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they
turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. (Laughing out loud).

I know this is an oldie but a goody, and I hope that there are some of you who haven't seen it before. I have nothing else. The well is dry.

15 comments:

sonia a.m. said...

Great quotes, Judy! The 12 is very true!
Have a nice week ahead!

Granny Annie said...

They are all good but as sonia a.m. said, #12 is very true. GREAT ADVICE! "12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails."

Evil Twin's Wife said...

After 40 years on this planet (and all of them as a female, thank goodness! LOL), you'd think I'd learned #10 by now. But no, I still ask stupid things...

Pagan Sphinx said...

Sorry to be off-topic, Kenju but I wanted to thank you for your book recommendation Water for Elephants. I sprung for the paperback and I'm very engrossed in the story. It is excellent!

Thanks again. I hope you are well.

Pagan

Seamus said...

LMAO @ the men and fine wine wine analogy!

JeanMac said...

Enjoying a good laugh - - -

Bud said...

Judy, Here is a "clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time" So I can play a second round of golf after my nap. Thats why!!! Jeez

bobbie said...

#4 and #12 are the best, for sure~ And #4 is SO annoying!

Bonnie Jacobs said...

Okay, I can give you "a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time." Somebody in October wanted a longer birthday, so they STOLE an hour from April! One year that hour came off MY birthday. And do you know what that means? My birthday was only 23 hours long, while someone in October got 25 hours for his! Yes, now you know. It was those selfish October-birthday people who got the legislation passed. Hrrumph!

Bear Naked said...

Number 3 is so true.
My husband has said to me (many times) "No More Teddy Bears!"

LZ Blogger said...

Judy ~ These were great! Well except for that GRAPE thing... ^LOL!^ ~ jb///

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Some I sgree with, some---not so much! LOL! I too agree about #12!

Don't you just hate it when 'yhe well is dry'? But it will fill up again, my dear Judy...it will!

Shephard said...

Very fun read. :)
~S

Jamie Dawn said...

I have seen this one before, but I skimmed it over and had a few chuckles. Oldies but goodies are still goodies.
:-)
One thing I just learned is that on the ends of every foil or plastic wrap box there are holes to punch in to keep the roll from pulling out when you dispense the product. I learned this from blog buddy Lucy Stern. I asked my mom if she knew about this and she did not. Did YOU know about it???
:-)

Carletta said...

I hadn't see this before and I truly enjoyed it. Quite a few smiles here.