1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be 'meetings.'
3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' (Witness blogging.)
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them. (Amen.)
5. You should not confuse your career with your life. (That's hard not to do.)
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (Preferably to music.)
7. Never lick a steak knife. (What if it has juicy bits on it?)
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. (or maybe laziness)
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time. (I like it, though.)
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment. (I can attest to that!)
11 The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. (I KNOW I am.)
12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails. (I agree.)
13. Your friends love you anyway. (We can always hope.)
14. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. (But the lone amateur had some good guidance.)
Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start out as
grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they
turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. (Laughing out loud).
I know this is an oldie but a goody, and I hope that there are some of you who haven't seen it before. I have nothing else. The well is dry.