Friday, January 18

Nine things I can't Understand...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".

Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9.When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

****I've been working all day and I'll be gone tomorrow. I will tell you soon how to condition flowers.

21 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You already did. And I have a limit: One to a customer. Goodbye."

Anna said...

These are so funny...I have said at least 5 of these...

OOOPS!

:)

amarkonmywall said...

Fiesty humor here. Hope all is well with you, dear Judy- and Mr. Kenju, too.

Becky68 said...

I was telling a friend how my mother would rant that the world didn't revolve around me when I was a kid & he pointed out that of course it did, MY world revolves around me, his world revolved around him etc. Of course, I was too old to be able to use it as a retort to my mother!
Michele sent me tonight to think about the silly things people say.

Diane Mandy said...

I agree on so many, but especially number 2. Just change the channel already!

Bud said...

Judy, I can't understand why people
PARK their car in a DRIVEWAY...and DRIVE their car on a PARKWAY. (it's all I could come up with...sorry)

ET said...

If some asks "Can I ask question?" didn't they just use up that request?

Ginnie said...

Hi Judy....somewhat along those same lines is "Now this is a secret but I know you won't tell a single soul."

Changes in the wind said...

Number one rules:):)

grannymar said...

Judy I love it and might steal the idea for a meme!

Dianne said...

I'm gonna have to admit to saying a couple of these myself (hangs head in shame) -

At the supermarket someone asked me (while I stood there with my overflowing cart) if I was in line. I told them No, I'm not - I just stopped by to visit the vegetables.

I felt mean later :)

sage said...

Thanks for the chuckle!

Nancy said...

Judy,

I read somewhere recently that this guy was putting his cans of cat food on the checkout counter at the supermarket and the clerk who was ringing it up asked,"Is this for here or to go?'

He said,"it's for here,of course, do you have a can opener?"

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

You sound cranky, Kenju. Hope you're really not...

"Can I ask a question" is often used around here to mean, "can I interrupt."

I welcome it; even though it is itself an interruption, at least the speaker is kind enough to show a little bit of consideration. It's a start. I'll take it.

Michele sent me today.

rosemary said...

Love them.....and I am guilty of using several a lot!

Awareness said...

We do say the goofiest things...

I always loved the last line of Steve Martin's book Cruel Shoes....

"the last thing on my mind is the last thing on my mind."

PI said...

Those made me smile - especially 4.
sometimes I wish one could make an acid remark without antagonising or hurting people . I'm sure it's good for the spleen if not the soul

Jamie Dawn said...

:-)

One thing my brother can't undertand about me is that I actually touch the computer screen when I'm pointing out something on it. This bugs him since it leaves finger smudges - which I found out when I was in CA.

:-)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

THESE ARE GREAT! LOL! I love your posts like this Judy, because they always give me a laugh and a nod...("YES!) and they are always right on the money!
I look forward to the 'How To', very much!

Karl said...

Ha, very astute. Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Shephard said...

Oh... I'm going to remember #8 (8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?)

~S