Friday, December 14

Jus' Wondering...

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Seamus said...

When I blew on the Buffledog's nose I always got kisses!!! ;)

Smiler said...

These are really great. I especially like the assassination/murder and in movies/on tv ones. I love language oddities like that. And yes, I tried to sing twinkle twinkle little star...
Michele sent me this time.

JeanMac said...

Oooh, food for thought!

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

You have given us much food for thought and many smiles. Having been associated with printers and packagers most my career, I do know round pizzas are in square boxes because it's vastly cheaper to make them square. As for all the others, damned if I know. Where in the heck did you get these, or did you make them all up yourself?

Mar said...

These are wonderful, kenju! Just what I needed today! and thanks for your kind words...

grannymar said...

Thank you Kenju.

Now I have enough one-liners to annoy my friends over Christmas!

Why is Blogger preventing me from using my usual sign-in? Not your fault, I need to Rant.

Winston said...

"Why does a round pizza come in a square box?"

Because the triangular ones are so hard to get.

Great list of teasers. I've seen some of these before but some are new.


Bob-kat said...

These are great!

I have another one for you:

How come parcels that are sent by air are 'cargo' while parcles sent on the road are 'frieght'? And how come , no matter which way an itme is sent to you, it's referred to as 'shipping' even if it doesn't cross water?! :)

Mike said...

now that you have asked all these good questions you have to give us the answers.

Michele sent me.

Changes in the wind is said...

Thanks for the chuckles:)

Carmi said...

Hi Judy. Dropping by from my BlackBerry (donating plasma with some help from our 7-year-old) to thank you for the perfectly timed series of laughs.

Michele's laughing, too!

PI said...

Most of those are new to me and got me wondrin'. Life is ridiculous at times isn't it?

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

OL, LOL.....T hese are great, Judy! I think I like the Asteroid and the Hemeroid the best.....The Irny of ALL these is quite wonderful! LOL!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

LOL! Funny stuff.

joared said...

Oh dear, these questions are going to keep me thinking for awhile. Why is life so complicated?

Weary Hag said...

Wow a whole lot of thought went into these. You've been brainstorming. Good to see someone's been productive lately! hehe

Jamie Dawn said...

These are good questions to ponder.
I will now call my bra, a bras, and I will call my panties, my panty.
It makes more sense, but it will take some effort to get used to saying bras and panty. said...

IT'S RAINING JUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Maybe now I can brush my teeth and wash my dishes without feeling guilty.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

You're way too deep for me, Kenju. I'm busy trying to figure out why my XM radio is playing garbage.

Michele sent me today!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I just came here from a site where I didn't get any peanut butter. Now you're going to tell me I don't get any chocoloate eclairs, either.