Friday, September 28

Quotes of Note ~ and an Update

Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.
Jalaluddin Rumi, poet and mystic(1207-1273)


Unless a good deed is voluntary, it has no moral significance.

Everett Dean Martin, columnist, preacher, and philosopher (1880-1941)
Some have asked for an update on mr. kenju. He is progressing, but it is an extremely slow process. He is able to go up and down stairs now, but not without me being present. I have to carry the walker upstairs for him and then watch him come up. It really tires him out, but he has opted to do it at least once per day, so he can sleep in his king-sized bed (without a footboard) and stretch out. I have to carry all his "stuff" up and down the stairs everyday at least 2 times, but it is worth it so he can have a good night's sleep, and also have access to the computers and his office when he wants to.

We have settled into a sort of routine; the hardest days are when he goes to therapy and on the two days per week that I leave the house to work. Giving him a shower is much easier now that we have the proper equipment, but it still takes 45 minutes from start to finish. The best time to do it is before bed; he goes to bed early, so I may miss something I want to see on TV, but it must be done. He sleeps like a baby when he showers at night anyway.
I am trying to get into the habit of cooking three meals per day, and it has been years since I have done that on a regular basis. Add that to all the chores he used to do, that I now have to - and you may see why I have not been reading your posts or commenting much.

My neighbors have started bringing meals on the two days that I work outside the home, and tonight I am awaiting what will no doubt be a great meal brought by a radiologist! Last night, we got grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and Caesar salad. It was wonderful, and the best part was I didn't have to stand up and cook it! Mr. kenju is tired of chicken - it has never been his favorite meat anyway - but I have told him repeatedly he must get used to eating more of it, now that he has to have a low-fat and low-salt diet. I let him eat what he wants once a week. If he would eat fish, we could have a more varied diet, but that is a definite no-no with him. I surprised him with shrimp cocktail this week - one of his very favorite things to eat - but I only let him have 10 shrimp, and I saved the rest for another time.

Whooeee! We just got Fresh Market chickens (3), edamame succotash, strawberries and blueberries, salad, and carrot cake!! I wonder how long I can manage to get meals delivered??!!
Addendum: YES, he does deserve me! But lest you think I am a saint (as Mike said), I will admit to screaming like a banshee and letting my dissatisfactions be known as often as necessary. (Of course, I've done that for 43 years!) This situation is extremely frustrating for everyone, even our children. I don't play the martyr easily or without loudly proclaiming my role.


Mr. Althouse said...

You are a Saint Judy. You represent the epitome of what the term "for better or worse" means. As much as I admired and respected you before, that admiration and respect is now 10 times greater - more.

I hope that things get back to normal for you both.

Michele sent me to say so,


Seamus said...

You certainly have your hands full dear girl! I'm glad to hear the Mr. K is making progress and TG for such wonderful neighbors. :)

Shephard said...

Oh, that sounds absolutely delicious.
It sounds like you have your hands full.

I guess we are very fortunate... we can order out middle-eastern food (kebobs, hummus, etc) and it's very healthy... yet still feels like a treat. More delivery food isn't so healthy though. But we do have a company called On The Run, and they actually deliver FROM major restaurants in the area (For a fee). But it's handy sometimes. :)

Keep up the good fight. He's lucky to have you.

Re: the top quote... I'm a firm believer in walking out of my house like a Shephard. (wink)

Melody said...

I'm glad your husband is on the road to improvement. And well done to you being such a wonderful wife and partner to him. It might be a little tough and annoying sometimes but you are lucky to have one another, yes? Let's hope things keep on getting better and better and Mr Kenju gets used to eating chicken!

I'm here via Michele today, so hello from her and hello from me. Enjoy your weekend.

Beverly said...

I love Maxine...she just hits the nail on the head.

How kind of your neighbors to bring meals in for you and give you a break.

rosemary said...

The best thing is he is making small advances....the best thing is he has you.

I have done what you are doing 3 times now for hip replacements. Each time it became more labor intensive and harder to do. This last one in 6/06 started my weight loss however with the up and down the stairs thing. We did spit baths for a long while and those took forever but the shower made it easier....I just showered too as our stall could accomodate us both.... too bad we weren't just a tad younger and in better shape.

rennratt said...

Eh, he can have more than chicken.

He can eat beef, right?

In moderation, of course.

I will be e-mailing you a general list of 'needs'. We can improvise on the 'smaller stuff'.

Mrs. Dash is your friend. Check out all varieties, and stock up!

Nancy said...

Hello Judy,

I just want to say," I KNOW "

It gets a little better every day.

What mostly got me through was knowing that he would do it for me.

I know Mr.K would do it for you.

Farrago said...

I'm still reading, Judy. As with you, I've had some things happening in my life that have taken me away from blogging regularly. I'll share soon.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh Dear Judy...I know you must be very very tired! The routine of your former life---gone! The new Routine---not so "Judy Friendly"...
You ARE a Saint...Banshee Voice and all!

Hey! Look into "MEALS ON WHEELS
.....It is delivered every day...there is variety and I don;t think it is terribly costly...I have a friend here who gets her Lunch and Dinner, each day and loves the food! Just a suggestion...And you may already know about this...

Anyway, my dear..I am thinking of you and I understand you are a little bit busy..To Say The Least! (lol)
Take good care of YOU, my dear....

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Just read your comment on my blog, Judy...Thank You so much...I wish you had had a sister or brother, too, or both....! I know there are good and bad sides to all these things---Only child, Siblings, etc...But, I am very very grateful that I had Robin as a sister and a friend. She was so incredibly supportive and loving...And, as I said, in an unconditional way. A rare rare gift, especially from a sibling.

I'm so glad to hear that Mr. Kemju is moving forward, however is the right direction at least. And as I said in my previous comment, YOU take care of YOU! Be well, and give yourself some treats and time off omce in a while...Hugs To You, My Dear.

Claude said...

Thanks for the update!

Anonymous said...

Everyone has to 'let her rip' once in a while or they would explode. I am hoping for faster progress and that you can return to a less demanding life soon.


Granny Annie said...

I have absolutely no suggestions because you are totally in control. Your creativity abounds in every aspect of your life, even in the care and feeding of a recovering spouse. You got the Nice Award, now you need the SUPER WOMAN AWARD!

Mike Davis said...

Hi Kenju. Sounds like you have your work cut out but no matter how hard it gets, it's worth it, right!

Here from Michele

AC said...

I so understand the dichotomy of feelings. I understand the banshee voice too. I've got one myself, wadded up in this pocket of a coat I try to stash way back in the closet.

My caretaking role hwas been with my mother however so it is different. I can't help but be annoyed today at the hours and weeks and months I spent with her a physical therapy only to have her sit down in the wheelchair and expect be waited upon from the last day of therapy forward. Not without commentary of how miserable she is.

So it is great that Mr. K, is already doing steps. He wants to be back. That makes a difference. It will be better soon for his strength and desire.

I often wish for a brother or sister to share the responsibilities and expectations. Sometimes it seems like a long row to hoe. Thinking of you.

Kay Dennison said...

You are great, Judy!!!! I long ago said I'd rather have both the kids home sick for a week than my husband home sick for one day and this has to be infinitely worse.

You both are in my prayers. I wish I were closer -- I'd be over to cook and help with chores in a heartbeat.

Keep the faith!

No_Newz said...

Thank you for the update. I'm glad he is getting stronger and is motivated to climb the stairs.

It must be difficult for you too. Sending good strong healing vibes his way and praying for your continued patience and strength.

Have a great weekend!

Diane Mandy said...

Thanks for the update on Mr. K. I was wondering how he was doing.

TLP said...

Hoping that YOU get some good time for yourself. Also hoping for your husband to get better and better, and SOON.

Reflekshins said...

we all need someone to love and scream at us. :p

nice to read the progress -- 3 cheers for Mr. Kenju AND his nurse!

-- those meals sound good -- leaning inward, "you're not gonna eat that are you?"

.:mar said...

Glad to hear about the improvements, even if the steps are small...
I remember when Mr Mar was in strict bed rest for 3 (loooong) weeks...what kept me going was the fact that the situation wasn't going to last forever...
Keep your good humor, loved the cartoons :)