Saturday, April 21




I only wish I was smart enough to have written this, but I got it in email. ENJOY, and have a great weekend!




I wish Stupid people would have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."

16 comments:

Bob-kat said...

Loved those stories, especially the last one! :D Of course, the guy telling it could have demonstrated how smart he was by letting the air out of the tyres to free the truck! LOL!

Michele sent me to come and have a laugh adn say hi.

No_Newz said...

So funny and so true. I think stupid should hurt. :)
Happy weekend!

Thumper said...

Heh. Bill Engvall...if you haven't listened to his entire Here's Your Sign routines, your life is not complete.

Catherine said...

Well, yes. Except that we all do and say stupid things once in a while, so we'd all earn a sign, and then there would be nothing to distinguish the occasionally mildly stupid people from the seriously stupid ones :)
Here from Michele's.

Beverly said...

I've been known to say some of those same, stupid things.

Becky68 said...

I agree with the person up there in the comments who said stupid should hurt!
In my job I encounter a lot of stupid people, you wouldn't belive how many people call in complaining of our poor service for their tv sets & then as we troubleshoot the problem it turns out the tv set was turned off! (I get that at least once a day myself)
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier.

Laura said...

When I had the basal cell removed earlier this month, I had to wear a bandaid over the wound. I was at a meeting when someone pointed out that I had a bandaid on my face...as if I didn't know! LOL!!

Glad you liked the beach pictures on the site today!

Star said...

Hi Judy ! Thanks for the chuckle.Michele sent me, but I was coming around anyway.

Lilli & Nevada said...

I agree the last one was good

margalit said...

I can think of a few people who need such a sign.

ET said...

I loved that t-shirt so much I stole it.

Mamacita said...

This one time, back in band camp, er, I mean, 8th grade, my students asked me, almost as a group, why they had to learn all this dumb stuff in school. To answer their question, I played this Bill Engvall cd, and told them I wanted them to learn everything they could so nobody would ever be able to make fun of them, deservedly.

I was written up for being politically insensitive to the stupid people in our school. I can only assume the principals were speaking of themselves.

Now I love that "Where's your sign" piece even more.

Karen said...

tee, hee!

*giggle*

=snicker=

{chuckle}

Michele sent me over to say, "You made my day!" :o)

Shephard said...

I understand the humor on this... but... I've heard people complain about asking stupid questions before when what the person is *actually* doing is opening up a line of conversation by stating the obvious. Several of these examples are like that. I don't know if I'd consider that stupid. In fact, I kinda think the person saying it's stupid may be a little socially challenged and impatient.
~S

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Very good Judy...! And Ain't It The Truth!!!!!

Geraldo said...

Thanks for the laughs! My theory is that those people have some kind of bypass path in their brains that sends directly to their mouths their immediate thoughts when they see something, while their brains are still processing the (obvious) answer...