Friday, March 9

Out of the Mouths.....

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After A while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold Milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so Old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you Must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six "

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much That when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain To take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it Was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with Wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give Me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing In a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is He whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what Was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed When I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked Back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the Flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled Woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why Doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... This particular Sunday Sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven And a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..."He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was Listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little Four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"


(received in email)


21 comments:

Yaeli said...

Kids say the darndest things!! Thanks for the laugh Judy!

Michele sent me today.

PI said...

Those are delightful! My grandson- when he was a little boy said 'I'm going to cry so hard when Grandma dies!'
I'm still here!
And one of the grandaughters is convinced that her other grandma has gone to Devon(Heaven)

Awareness said...

I love these!

My mom told me the other day that her 5 year old grandson (my nephew) was looking at old photos of her with my Dad. The little guy didn't recognize his grandma right away.......

My Dad said..."that's your grandma. Isn't she beautiful in this photo?"
My nephew said........"Oh, yes! Now she's nice, right grandpa?"

Alan G said...

Those are really great...

Heard one "in person" several years ago from a little boy sitting at the supper table.

Looked at his mom with this really serious look and commented that the meal was so good he wished he had a bigger mouth. Hilarious... :)

bluemountainmama said...

truly out of the mouth.....

i need to be writing down all the things my son says- i'd have a treasure-trove.

Beverly said...

Oh, I love those. Butt dust, gotta love that one.

Anna said...

These are SO funny Judy! Thanks for sharing!

Button Gwinnett said...

Anyone that doesn't like kids hasn't spent enough time around them. They say exactly what is on their minds!

utenzi said...

"I love you so much That when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

With a comment like that, you have to figure that kid had recently buried a pet outside. Isn't it nice that he'd treat his mom the same way as his favorite gerbil or goldfish? LOL

Michele sent me over, Judy. I hope you enjoy the weekend! I'll be over near your house this week--and probably taking pictures at Johnson Pond.

Carolyn said...

Those are all very funny, but that last one is a riot!! :D

Shephard said...

"Butt dust" made me laugh.
~S :)

Sonia said...

Just funny! Kids are very creative indeed!

Wordnerd said...

How adorable!!! I loved 'butt dust'!

rosemary said...

Good ones Judy...really good. I don't know which one made me laugh harder....Flea or Butt Dust!

srp said...

These are hysterical, really touched the funny bone... especially the last one.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...These are all darling and so funny...! I particularly like that last one...I think because the innocence of children is so incredibly disarming...Butt Dust, indeed! LOL!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"How does it know it's me?" Very funny, Kenju.

Maria said...

I received these in an e-mail also. They are precious. I loved reading them once again.

Raggedy said...

That was wonderful!
Thanks!
Hugs

Weary Hag said...

These are so funny!

I think one of the cutest things my SJ ever said to me when she was about five years old was the day she pointed to my left leg and said, "So mommy, why do you have those very close veins anyway?" (varicose)

Badaunt said...

My favourite: "What happened to the flea?" It's such a LOGICAL question.


(So what DID happen to the flea, I wonder?)