Life Lessons

Written by Regina Brett

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday,May 28, 2006

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Gentle Thoughts for Today

Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then crap on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement . He who hesitates is probably right. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...' Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . .. . . . . . AMEN!

Tips for Parents Everywhere

Drawing by a Turkish child.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Quotes & Notes

My daughter is always on me about expiration dates!

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I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.

Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. general and 34th president (1890-1969)

(I haven't experienced it firsthand, and I hate it too!)

*****^*****

There are two ways of being happy: We may either diminish our wants or augment our means - either will do - the result in the same; and it is for each man to decide for himself, and do that which happens to be the easiest. If you are idle or sick or poor, however hard it may be to diminish your wants, it will be harder to augment your means. If you are active and prosperous or young and in good health, it may be easier for you to augment your means than to diminish your wants. But if you are wise, you will do both at the same time, young or old, rich or poor, sick or well; and if you are very wise you will do both in such a way as to augment the general happiness of society.

Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)

(A most intelligent man!)

***(*^*)***

An inspection was due on my car by the end of March, and I didn't want to miss the deadline. My local garage told me that my tail lights, both of which were cracked) (what are you looking at me for? I didn't do it!) would not pass inspection and needed to be replaced. The quote, for after-market light assemblies was $80 each, plus installation. Naturally, I try to solve a problem with as little an outlay of moolah as possible, so I asked a relative who is in the car business if he could get them for me for less. His contacts said they would be $75 each. Close, but no cigar......so he said he thought he had a way to get the inspection passed without me having to do anything. That sounded good to me, so I went to his car lot today and guess what that sweet man did? He traded my tail lights with those on one of the cars for sale on his* lot - at no cost to me. Then I went to his garage for the inspection, which I passed easily. I wish everything in life was that easy, don't you!?

(* he owns the lot)

A Good Word

Inanition

\in-uh-NISH-uhn\, noun:

1. The condition or quality of being empty.
2. Exhaustion, as from lack of nourishment.
3. Lack of vitality or spirit.

So.........that's me right now. At least as it applies to blogging. I usually have 3-4 posts written and ready to post, but not this time. The cupboard is bare. Probably the wet, dreary weather has something to do with that. We needed rain; we are (or were) below normal for rainfall, but I suspect now we are over that hurdle. It has been raining or overcast for the last 5 days and it is definitely wearing on me.

Until I get my groove back, I'll just wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day. Wear green and blow me a kiss , 'cause I'm Irish. Well, I'm Irish in my mind and soul. I grew up with an Irish family, and I've always looked somewhat Irish but I discovered that my birth parents were Scots/English. It's fine with me, but I still feel Irish. Is that okay with you Grannymar?

Cue the Eerie Music......

I forgot to tell you about one of the most interesting things that happened when I was meeting with the women in my last post. I had made the arrangements with EvilTwin'sWife, and she called to invite Buzzardbilly and BlondeGoddess. I emailed Inanna before I left home and told her where we would be meeting and what time.

So, the day of the get-together, I go to the appointed place and discover that it is closed for renovations. Luckily, I had a cell number for ETW, so I called her and we changed the place to another one less than a block away. But I didn't have a way to contact Inanna and let her know, since I left home before her last email reached me (with her number).

I met up with the other three, and we are sitting at a table near a window, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a person entering the front door. It was Inanna! I thought....."How in the world did she know we were coming here?!" I jumped up and went to the lobby and she was as surprised as I was. I said...."How did you know we would come here?" and she replied...."I didn't, but I was hungry and this seemed like a good place." (You need to know that there are two other restaurants between the first one and the one we changed to.)

Being the weirdo that I am, I took that as a sign that they were all meant to meet, and it was going to happen, no matter that the first place was closed! During the course of the afternoon, we discovered that two/three of them are from the same county, and know people in common. There was even a possibility that they are distantly related. See how things work? You just have to listen to your intuition!

I'm not really sure I caught mine yet.....LOL.

Today was appointment day (away from the house) and errand day and chasing rabbits day. I started at the doctor's office, then tried to get my ears/hearing examined but can you imagine needing an appointment for that at C*stco? I'll have to call and go in later in the week, I guess. I'm in search of a new coffee pot, since my old one takes 15 minutes or more to drip a pot, even though I have cleaned it with white vinegar just as the directions say to do. Mr. kenju has asked for a pot that will deliver a cup into his hands much more quickly than that. Our friends have a B*nn that can have 10-12 cups ready in 4-5 minutes. That's what I want, but so far, I can't locate a store around here that carries them. The way I drink coffee, I should probably get a commercial unit! I suppose I should let my fingers do the walking, especially since gas is hovering at $3+ per gallon.

After stopping at my old favorite Bojangles (tsk....tsk) for a quickie lunch in the car (which gave me indigestion), I went to Big Lots. It's always fun to comb their aisles and see what treasures can be had for a fraction of the usual cost. I found a package of 275 sheets of multi-colored tissue paper for $5! YAY! Later I saw almost the same package at C*stco for over $7. Added to my bargains were four 160 sheet boxes of Sc*ttie's tissues for $1 per box, and toothbrushes for $1.50 that sell for over $2 elsewhere.

I went to the P.O. to mail my daughter's bathing suits to her, since she is going to FL next week on a company R&R. She claims that she forgot to take them with her because I put them in her closet last time she was here. Imagine that! I guess everything ought to be left out on the bed or floor so that she can see it and it won't be left behind. (Pooh!) She takes after mr. kenju in that respect; not that he leaves stuff in the floor, but on top of the bureau and his desk, etc. If he puts it in a drawer, he says he forgets it is there. Pooh, again.

A final stop at the pharmacy for another prescription refill (something I seem to do on an almost weekly basis since mr. kenju's stroke) and I am finally home. There's dinner to make and laundry to do and I have to get ready for an appointment with a bride here tomorrow. Maybe I'll finally catch my tail around 10pm. Want to place bets?