Calling all LEXOPHILES
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two
tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies
like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry
in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back
four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery
machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you
can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't
find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which
was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from
prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches
will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center
you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are
in
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair,
she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20.
the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round
table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size
from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her
still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from
algebra class because it was a weapon of math
disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in
a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting
bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was
taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how
he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe
sects.
*******
A comment I got yesterday revealed this blog - one in which I am quoted! You should check it out, and visit some of the other quoted blogs. It could be interesting!
14 comments:
Well dang -- a whole list of groaners!!!!! LOL
Gotta love them.
That was a neat idea for a post, will check out some of the others.
You are absoultely quote worthy.
OH my.....my husband's family calls him "Gid" (short for his middle name) and statements like this are referred to as "Gid Jokes" I will have to make sure he doesn't ever get to see this list!!!!! =)
Interesting link and post. Thanks for the tip off!
Well, you know I am am lexophile. Lots of fun, thanks.
I do love those.
Some of them are are smashers as we say in Ireland. I like that site of quotes. I like what you say and often quote you!
I just wish I could remember them:)
Oh, I LOVED them! I needed a little something to laugh at today!
Lindsey Petersen
GOOD ONES!! Iam amazed by the people who can do these...Really Fantastic!
These are great! I love word play.
A nice list!
Those are great,one and all. Did you create this or is it from someone else's blog? Either way, it's fun.
Ha! You found some great ones!
I hope you're doing well, Judy! I've been catching up and enjoying the posts. Beautiful flowers for the recent wedding.
Thanks!
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