Retirement

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday. Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he/she falls asleep on the couch. (or in my case, in the recliner) Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There isn't enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They're the only ones who have the time.. Question: What's the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.(In view of my post about my daughter's closet earlier this week, I couldn't resist posting this!) Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal . Question: What's the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never-ending coffee break. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents. (And you don't have to take tests if you audit!) Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He's too polite to tell the whole truth. Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday; Nothing. Saturday & Sunday I rest.