Saturday, January 9

Leftover Christmas Cookies?

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the

oven, it has no calories because everyone knows

that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second

cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda

cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your

Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must

sample with your friend. Because your friend's first

cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would

be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the

friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around

will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move.

This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the

Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many

calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without

cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.

Red ones have three and green ones have five - one

calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street"

have no calories because they are part of the entertainment

package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the

process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have

no calories since the calories Rightfully belong to the other

person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories

like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no

calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes

NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So enjoy those leftover Christmas Cookies!

( Don't you wish you knew this on December 1st? )


kenju said...

Sorry for part of the lines being cut off on the right side.

Gilly said...

I had a good time filling in the gaps!

Cookies any time are a Good Idea in my book!

jingle said...


I like it here,
keep posting.

Pat said...

I'd like to believe you:)

Arkansas Patti said...

That is OK for then I get to make up the missing words. Kinda of fun.
I do believe that standing up is the answer to calorie shaving.

LL Cool Joe said...

What left over cookies?? They are all long gone! But trust me the calories thing doesn't work I've put on ever 5 pounds over the holidays!

Granny Annie said...

Oh don't I just wish!

One Woman's Journey said...

Judy, I have ate them all. The cookies, fudgecake and sour cream pound cake!!!

Star said...

Leftover Christmas Cookies have no calories as they have all expired and you are doing a public service by eating them after Christmas.

rosemary said...

I figured it all out....I think blogger is being a butt-head these days....font changes, gaps in paragraphs no matter how many times I hit delete, odd colors popping up...and as for cookies and goodies....I no longer care I just eat them. Who is going to look at my butt, tummy or face anyway?

Thumper said...

Well now I wish I'd made Christmas cookies...

Looking to the Stars said...

LOL, I loved this! And yes I enjoyed my christmas cookie while reading it :)

oklhdan said...

All sounds good to me! I'm convinced:)

sage said...

what is that they say about sounding too good to be true... :)

Jo said...

If you eat an even number of cookies, they have no calories, because they cancel each other out. So you can eat 4, 6, 8 ... just don't eat 5, 7, 9 ...

Also, I have heard that if you eat them with your left hand, they don't have any calories, either. Especially if they have chocolate chips in them -- lots of chocolate chips. :-)

moozytooz said...

I am eating Dancing Deer Peppermint Snowflake cookies that expired 03/02/2009. They had survived in a tightly closed bag, because I had been hoarding them so! I am reporting that in leftover Christmas Cookies of this vintage the calories have not only VAPORIZED, there is a negative calorie factor...each 50calorie Snowflake burns up 50 cal.