The Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time
of year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring

the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber
revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach ,
California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.

And now, the honorable

mentions:


2. The chef at a hotel in

Switzerland lost a finger in
a meat cutting machine and

after a little shopping around,
submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The

company, expecting negligence

sent out one of its men to

have a look for himself.

He tried the machine and

he also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was

approved.

3. A man who shoveled

snow for an hour to clear a

space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned

with his vehicle to find a

woman had taken the space..
Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks

at an illegal bar, a

Zimbabwean

bus driver found that

the 20 mental patients

he was supposed to be

transporting from Harare

to Bulawayo had escaped.

Not wanting to admit his

incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop

and offered everyone

waiting there a free ride.

He then delivered the

passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff

that the patients were very
excitable and prone to

bizarre fantasies. The

deception wasn't discovered

for 3 days.

5. An American teenager

was in the hospital recovering
from serious head wounds

received from an oncoming train.
When asked how he

received the injuries,

the lad told police
that he was simply trying to

see how close he could get

his head to a moving train

before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a

Louisiana Circle-K, put a

$20 bill on the counter, and

asked for change. When the

clerk opened the cash drawer,

the man pulled a gun and

asked for all the cash in the

register, which the clerk

promptly provided.

The man took the cash

from the clerk and fled,

leaving the $20 bill on the

counter. The total amount of
cash he got from the drawer...

$15. [If someone points a gun
at you and gives you money,

is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy

wanted some beer pretty
badly.. He decided that he'd

just throw a cinder block
through a liquor store window,

grab some booze, and run. So
he lifted the cinder block

and heaved it over his head

at the window. The cinder

block bounced back and hit

the would-be thief on the

head, knocking him unconscious.

The liquor store window was

made of Plexiglas. The whole

event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper

exited a New York

convenience store, a

man grabbed her purse

and ran. The clerk called

911immediately, and the

woman was able to give

them a detailed
description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher.

They put him in the car and

drove back to the store.

The thief was then taken

out of the car and told to

stand there for a positive

ID. To which he replied,

"Yes, officer, that's her.

That's the lady I stole

the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News

crime column reported

that a man walked into

a Burger King in Ypsilanti,

Michigan at 5 A.M.,
flashed a gun, and

demanded cash. The clerk

turned him down
because he said he

couldn't open the cash

register without a food order.

When the man ordered

onion rings, the
clerk said they weren't

available for breakfast.

The man, frustrated,

walked away. [*A 5-STAR

STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted

to siphon gasoline from a
motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much

more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene

to find a very sick man curled

up next to a motor home

near spilled sewage. A

police spokesman said

that the man admitted to

trying to steal gasoline,

but he plugged his siphon

hose into the motor home's

sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the
vehicle declined to press

charges saying that it was

the best laugh he'd ever

had.

Remember..... They walk among us!!!