Thursday, September 17

The Wisdom of Maxine


Click to embiggen.









SOME LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE...

My husband and I divorced over religious

differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every

minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal

to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk

to me
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room

-spinning medicine.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be

When I Grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash

advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless

DEAD.

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime

commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.




17 comments:

joared said...

Lots of really good laugh lines here. Got my fix for the day.

Blonde Goddess said...

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."

LOL! I love this one!

Arkansas Patti said...

Thanks for the good laugh this morning. I was still laughing over "noun/verb". All my new "laugh lines" are your fault.

Shiny Rod said...

"The trouble with life is there's no background music." Thank the makers for iPods. Funny stuff. LMAO

oklhdan said...

Love Maxine, Love the quotes!

Darlene said...

You just gotta' love Maxine. Thanks for the best laugh of the day.

tiff said...

"wrath of grapes." :)

Jamie Dawn said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... that one really got me!
Maxine is always a hoot.

:-)

Looking to the Stars said...

I loved every one of them, thanks :)

Looking to the Stars said...

I loved every one of them, thanks :)

One Woman's Journey said...

I needed this humor. Thank you for the smile on my face.

PI said...

I wouldn't say he thinks he's God - a saint maybe:)

robin andrea said...

I always like a good laugh. Thanks for that.

Peter said...

Maxine is just too funny.... cos its all true.
Please come back to the quiz again, the questions cover a new topic each day and are nowhere near as reliant on being an Aussie.

Maria said...

This post was perfect for lifting my mood. I particularly loved the one about earth being an insane asylum for the universe. Unfortunately, I am beginning to see this as a TRUTH.

Chancy said...

I do so love Maxine,
and also those truisms you posted.
Way to go Kenju

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