Wednesday, August 19

New Definitions

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.


CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.


DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.


EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.


HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.


INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.


MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.


RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.


SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.


SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.


TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.



TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.


YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.


WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines

***********

The volunteers and workers for the Jim Valvano Celebrity Golf Tournament for Cancer Research were treated to a dinner tonight, at the new Park Alumni Center on the Centennial Campus of North Carolina State University. It was my first time at the new club and I must say it is a beauty; especially when compared to the old faculty club. During the program, it was mentioned that since the inception of the golf tournament fund-raisers, they have managed to raise more than $14 million for cancer research. It makes me proud that I am involved in it - even if only in a small way.


15 comments:

Shiny Rod said...

Even small steps for cancer go a great distance.(Shiny Rod)

That was great darlin, I am in perpetual chuckle mode.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

These are GREAT, Judy...One is better than the next...I mean...They Are ALL Great!

How wonderful that they hav raised that much money for Cancer...And Bravo to you for your part in making that happen!

Arkansas Patti said...

Great bunch of "truth chuckles" that increased the number of my laugh lines, character lines, aka wrinkles.
So glad the fund raiser was such a success and neat that they fed you for your efforts.

PI said...

Everyone a winner.
Well done for your work for an excellent cause.

srp said...

I added some this week after a hiatus. All the ones of the beam work that my cousins did are up and some with the fan and lighting from the fan. We are trying to start a fire under the workers again to get the odds and ends finished because we cannot re-sod until the patio is completed and the lighting in outside. It may be that they are at the end. Perhaps I should re-order them so that the most recent appear first. Hmm.

BTW... I like the YAWN.... these are too funny... I must print them off and take them to Rev. Wirth at church. He loves a chuckle.

Star said...

Funny, and well, true! Thanks Judy. I needed a chuckle as I sit and wait for the verizon (not your favorite company these days I know) repair guy.

colleen said...

I like the mosquito and yawn ones. I think I'll be thinking about dust really being dried out mud later as I clean.

Mar said...

I simply love those new definitions!!
Thumbs up on that excellent cause!!

Grannymar said...

'A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. ' Ha ha! I looked like that for years, no wonder my brothers made jokes about me.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Good definitions!

I'm glad so many are involved in cancer research. Always have my fingers crossed that someone will hit upon a cure!

Ginnie said...

I definitely fit the description of "Adult"....darn it !

Jennifer said...

The Jimmy V is a wonderful event, and all of the people who donate their time and talent and energy to its success, year after year, are true heroes.

And also?

WHERE do you find these things?
LOL

sage said...

Good for you working with others to prevent cancer... Love your definitions--I was in NC until yesterday afternoon, but never made it to Raleigh

oklhdan said...

So funny.....thanks for the giggle. I hadn't heard any of these before.

JeanMac said...

I love those sayings - who thi
nks them up!!!