Thursday, May 7


(**PG 13 today!)

Mr. Goldberg wakes up in the hospital,
bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says,

'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you
were in a pileup on the freeway. You're
going to be okay, you'll walk
again and everything, but.....
something happened. I'm trying to break
this gently... but the fact is... your
penis was chopped off in the
wreck and we were unable to find it.'

Goldberg groans, but the doctor goes on,
'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation
coming to you, and we have the technology to
build you a new penis that will work as well
as your old one did...maybe even better!
But the thing is, it doesn't come
cheap. It's $10,00.00 per inch.'

Goldberg perks up at this!! 'So,'
the doctor says, 'It's for you to decide
how many inches you want.
But it's something you'd better discuss
with your wife. I mean, if you had a five
inch one before,
and you decide to go for nine inches, she
might be a bit put out. But if you had a
nine inch one before, and you decide only
to invest in five inches this time, she
might be disappointed. So
it's important that she plays
a role in helping you
make the decision.'

He agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes
back the next day and
says, 'So, have you spoken with your

'I have,' says Mr. Goldberg.

'And has she helped you in making the

'Yes, she has,' he says.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite countertops.'


I'm scraping the bottom of the email
barrel here, folks. There's not much
left in the files, and I'm too tired
from working to write much
(or even think). By Saturday,I'll be
dumb and dumber, since I'm already
exhausted and it's only

I love working, but when it comes in
big/long spurts
like this, I suddenly remember that my age
won't allow me to work like I did when I was
in my 40's. I don't know why that is always
such a surprise to me...


Jay said...

Haha, I love granite counters!

Take care of yourself, hun.

Tabor said...

Your post came up missing the ends of every line in my browser...made for even more interesting reading!

Arkansas Patti said...

Didn't quite see that coming. Tee he. I'd probably gone for a new bathroom.
Admire that you keep doing it day after day. Know I couldn't. This is such a busy time of year for flowers. Take care.
Just keep thinking "temporary, this is just temporary."

srp said...

I think granite countertops sounds like the best deal! LOL Very funny! Good luck this week!

Sylvia K said...

What a hoot! Love it! Do like those granite counters! Hope you get a chance to rest this weekend!

Grannymar said...

Why do we women always think of kitchen stuff?

rosemary said...

Very practical woman....I want granite too. It is amazing how our mid is going 100mph and the body is still in reverse.

rosemary said...

that was supposed to be MIND

Jamie Dawn said...

Love the joke, and since the joke was PG-13, then my comment shall be as well.

I'd suggest you not write "big/long spurts" after telling a penis joke.


Hee, haw, tee, hee, snort!!

All work and not enough play... or rest.
Take care and get rested up when you can.

Maria said...

Yes, granite counter tops would be great. Cannot even imagine how busy you are with Mother's Day just around the corner.

Scarlet said...

Good one! A practical gotta love her!

Hope you're getting some r & r!

Seamus said...

LMAO! Priorities!

Hope you catch a break soon! :)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Am I the only one who doesn't get it?? Oh Dear! Sorry Judy...

I have often been in awe of the way you work, work, work....I think it is fantastic, but I also wondered how you do it, my dear....I know what it feels like to not have the same kind of evergy as I did when I was in my
40's or even in my 50's....And now? Well, there is no way....! LOL!

Do get some rest, if and when you can, and don't worry about posting---We all know you will when you can, my dear....!

Awareness said...

If it ain't workin' for you, for goodness sakes go with the granite tops. !!

Don't forget to breathe. Wedding seasons must be brutally busy!

Beverly said...