Tuesday, March 24

Brains of Britain

Back in February, a reader named Susan (who doesn't have a blog) sent me this list of gaffs from various TV and radio shows in England. I tried to post it then, but something about the format of the email prevented that. I saved it until I had time to type it out for you. ENJOY!! and thank Susan in the comments.

All I can think of when I read these is ......they walk among us!



Host: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.

Host: There’s a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.

Host: Who had a worldwide hit with “What a Wonderful World?”

Contestant: I don’t know.

Host: I’ll give you come clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Host: Correct, and if you’re not weak you’re _____?

Contestant: Strong.

Host: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?

Contestant: Louis

Host: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What a Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


***


Host: What is the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France

Host: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um Benidorm.

Host: Wrong, sorry. Let’s just try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.

Host: Just a guess then……

Contestant: Paris


***



DJ: For 10 [points], what is the nationality of the Pope?

Caller: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


***


Host: What is another name for ‘cherry pickers’ and ‘cheese mongers’?

Contestant: homosexuals

Host: No, they’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you!


***


Host: What’s 11 squared?

Contestant: I don’t know.

Host: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?


***


Host: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona

Host: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.


***


On the National Lottery:

Question: What is the world’s largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.


***


Host: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth…..Er.Er….

Three?


***


Host: In which European Country is Mount Etna?

Contestant: Japan.

Host: I did say European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.

Contestant: Er……Mexico?


***


Host: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Host: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Host: The line is bad; did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.


***


Host: What “K” could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er…..

Host: It’s got two syllables…..Kor____

Contestant: Blimey.

Host: Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run….

Contestant: (silence)

Host: Ok, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I…

Contestant: walked?


***


Host: Johnny Weismuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.


***



Now before you think we're picking on Britain, I submit that some people in almost any other country wouldn't do all that well either. Susan is from Britain, and the list originated in Canada.

17 comments:

srp said...

Are you sure some of these weren't from American TV game shows or the "ask the man on the street" segments of Leno or Letterman? They remind me of the classic... who is buried in Grant's tomb?

Grannymar said...

The last one is my favourite!

Arkansas Patti said...

It is comforting to know there are such dense people in other parts of the world. "Jay walking" segment on Leno cracks me up but also scares me as to the future of our youth. Feel better knowing "Duh" is a universal condition.

Tabor said...

It scares me to think we walk among these people! AND they may vote!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I love that the host practically "gave away" the answers every time and they still couldn't get it right! LOL.

Kay Dennison said...

Scary is the only word that came to mind.

sage said...

It's good to know that the American education system isn't the only one to produce less than brilliant graduates!

Dianne said...

I am often amazed that some people manage to get thru a day without hurting themselves ;)

I played your name game - it was fun.

PI said...

Some of those made me LOL and believe me we do have folk like that even in Britain:)
BTW who wrote Gray's elegy?
And the late Jade Goody famously thought Rio de Janeiro was a foot-baller.

rosemary said...

We watch jay Leno every night....it is a hoot to watch his Jay Walking blips. He asks similar USA questions and i am amazed at the answers...and scared a bit....these folks are our next generation. He also will bring in the 3 most bizarre and ridiculous people that answered and host a Jay Walking All Stars where even more foolish answers are given. The worst part? Jay Leno NEVER brings on anyone that does NOT have a college degree.

Ginnie said...

Wow...you typed out that whole interview. I'm sure we have the same dense people here!

tiff said...

Didn't have to read even past the first one to get a real chuckle. Thanks!!!

Barry said...

LOL

These were so funny I had to read them out to my wife.

Just hilarious.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Some of these are shocking to me. Funny? Well, i guess in some ways...but....in other ways it is truly pitiful...lol!

JeanMac said...

A good smile to end the day!

Zeus said...

I'm with Arkansas Patti on this one. I find this really comforting! I was beginning to think that maybe Americans were the only ones with fluffy people.

Granny Annie said...

Don't you think even the Son Of God would laugh at this one?

"What jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did Johnny Weismuller play?

Contestant: Jesus.