Sunday, February 8

You've Probably Seen These Before

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Valentine's Day work starts tomorrow morning for me. I'll be pretty busy all week and I probably will not be able to visit or comment much until next weekend. I may post some re-runs from my old blog. Bear with me.


Awareness said...

Ok, before I comment on your wonderful questions I have to point out that the word verification is pupreck. I just spent the last half hour chasing after my pup outside in the cold in my pyjamas...she is a pupreck! lol. I may just go blow in her face to tick her off....then we'd be even.

As for heaven??? hmmmm.....I have never thought of that. I guess I've always had something white and flowy in mind...but maybe we're all svelte and beautifully naked.

I bet it's a busy week for you Judy....think of all the love your flowers and arrangements will consummate. heehee!

Tabor said...

Wow, that is a lot to think about! Long time typing that post.

Bob-kat said...

Yeah, I have often wondered that about toasters! I loved these little one liners :D

Good luck with your very busy week I hope you find time to relax a little too.

PI said...

Whose Bear and how long is he staying?

themom said...

Now I have some "ponderings" for the day - thank you!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I sing both Twinkle Twinkle and the ABC songs around here enough to know that they do have the same tune! LOL.

No_Newz said...

You're right, I had seen most of them before but they still made me smile, thank you! :)

Granny Annie said...

Since you are going to be caught up in Valentine's Day flowers it's a good thing you adhere to the old adage, "Leave them laughing". You have certainly done that. Oldies but always GOODIES! Oh so funny.

Ark Patti said...

In my BIP (book in progress) I infer that we spend eternity wearing whatever we die in. Makes me want to think a little broader than just "clean underwear".
Lots of food for thought and laughs in this post. Thanks Judy.

sage said...

there's some funny ones here!

Darlene said...

Good 'oldies' are always fine for a second or third giggle.

If one is a mouse and two are mice, why aren't two blouses blice?

Grannymar said...

I love the cartoon at the top.

Busy week ahead, try to find some time for laughter!

rosemary said...

Every single one funny.....and I did sing. happy flowering!!!

Nancy said...

How about:

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Don't work too hard but it must be nice to know that you make a lot of people happy when they receive flowers from someone they love......

David said...

jeez, Judy! Now I have NO TIME to read the Sunday paper.
I do love the cartoon
Thank you for making me smile.

Inanna said...

If we do spend eternity in what we're buried in, then I hope my mother doesn't dress me!

Eunoia said...

Protons have mass???

I didn't even know
they were Catholic ;-)