Friday, January 30

Neologisms


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you've
gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.


Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the
door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks
you up after you're run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand) the belief that, when
you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.



Don't you just love them?! I do, and I am never good at making up my own. Thanks to another email buddy for these.

14 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

LOL!!!! The Post has the best word contests!!!

Tabor said...

All of these are treasures.

PI said...

Brilliant Really brightened up my day:)

Star said...

Well, I am definately flabbergasted. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

themom said...

OMG - those are hilarious...and quite possibly apply to my life in one way or the other.

bobbie said...

These are always good. I love the Washington Post.

I think my favorite is "oyster"

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My son loves Pokemon. I'll never think of it the same way again. LOL.

oklhdan said...

Very funny.....I wish I were so clever!

Joy Des Jardins said...

These are great Judy...thanks for the laughs. Washington Post always comes up with good stuff...

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL...Oh these are GREAT! So clever....I wish I had that kind of mind....lol!
Thanks for the Great Laughs today, Judy.

BTW: I have l-o-n-g "B" up on my blog.....Come on by, if you get a chance....

mw said...

Lymph started the out loud laughter, which is still ongoing. Thanks! Wonderful post.

Here from netchick!

Farrago said...

"Pokemon." My favorite from that list!!

Beverly said...

Those are SO good.

whimsical brainpan said...

LOL! Wonderful!

I think Negligent is my favorite.