Friday, August 29

Browsing Old Cemeteries


Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
=============================
In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
=============================
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The Good Die Young.
=============================
In a London , England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
=============================
In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
===============================
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast... Pardon me for not rising.
===============================
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
==============================
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
================================
A lawyer's epitaph in England :
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
=================================
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England , cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
==================================
In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
==================================
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont :
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
==================================
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucke t , Massachusetts :
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
==================================
In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.


To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent ..
Until I know which way you went.






18 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...These are GREAT, Judy! So clever and funny! Thanks for a good good laugh!

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

These are fantastic, Judy. I love old cemeteries, but Bodie Ghost Town is the only place I've seen gravestones like these.

Mar said...

Loved them all, how creative and funny!!

PI said...

I think Jonathan Pease is my favourite:)

Granny Annie said...

Judy, where in the world do you get these great posts? Great way to start this day. Thanks.

Nancy said...

Here lies the body of

John G. Ryan

Waiter.

God finally caught his eye.

April 25-1935

Joy Des Jardins said...

These are wonderful Judy. How funny! Laughing til the end....exactly the way to go......I just loved them. Thanks so much.

Beverly said...

Those are great, Judy. When you go to the Haunted Mansion at DisneyWorld, as you wait to go in, there are gravestones like that along the way. I always find them so funny.

Greg Finnegan said...

Here are some of the inscriptions on the Haunted Mansion tombstones:

Rest in peace, brother Huet. We all know you didn't do it.

R.I.P., good friend Gordon. Now you've crossed the river Jordan.

Master Gracey laid to rest. No mourning, please, at his request. Farewell.

At peaceful rest, he's brother Claude. Planted here beneath this sod.

Here lies good ol' Fred. A great big rock fell on his head.

Here rests Lawful R. Bender. He rode to glory on a fender.

Dear departed brother Dave, He chased a bear into a cave.

Here lies a man named Martin. The lights went out on this old Spartan.

Bear Naked said...

"Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go."

So clever!!

Bear((( )))

kenju said...

Granny Annie: I got this list in an email from an old friend.

Nancy: that's a good one!

Greg: thanks for the additions - very good ones!

Everyone: thanks for the visit and I'm glad you enjoyed this list. I am working this weekend, and don't have much time to post.

No_Newz said...

Those are so funny. Makes me want to plan my plot. :P

Have a great weekend!

Rue said...

Hi Judy :)

Those are so funny! They remind me of the haunted house at Disneyland too :)

rue

db grin said...

Gah! I lol'd!

I like the last one especially. Old timers knew how to do it.

I'mma have to come up with a selection of verses so those I leave behind don't get too creative.

Star said...

Fun, as always Judy. Michele sent me here today.

JeanMac said...

Wow, very interesting. They'll will probably write "I'm hungry" on mine!

Ginnie said...

Where DO you find these things, Judy? They are hysterical. I was once going to write a blog about an old black man that shuffled around the ER when I worked there.
He was supposed to be an ER Tech but that was a joke.
Anyway, I grew to love Harvey and he'd mumble all sorts of poetry as he "worked". My favorite was:
"WHEN I DIE, BURY ME DEEP, PUT A PAN OF MOLASSES AT MY FEET...A PLATE OF BISCUITS IN MY HAND...SO I CAN SOP MY WAY TO THE PROMISED LAND."

Shephard said...

Cute.
~S