Monday, July 21

Fifty Years ?

Note: this is not the couple I am writing about below! It is one of a group of mr. kenju's family photos that we recently got. I will be posting some of them from time to time.

On Saturday night we attended a fiftieth anniversary party. Although we only have six years to go, I'm not sure we will make it that long, considering our relationship here of late. The stroke aftermath is the hardest thing I've ever had to get through, and before it gets resolved (if ever), I may be arrested for murder in the first degree. Or - I could be murdered. It remains to be seen. It's a good thing we don't own a gun. I think if we DO make it to 50 years, I don't want a big party. I'd rather go on a cruise or visit some place I've never been before.

The couple who have been married 50 years tied the knot in Morocco. He was in the Navy and she was over there teaching English. They displayed many photos from their early days together, as well as a CD playing constantly on a TV monitor showing photos from the whole 50 years. They have 4 children and about 19 grandchildren now, so you can imagine the volume of pictures. It was fun to see the ones of their children when they were young, since I have only known them as adults.

The husband got up to tell the story of their meeting, which involved his having eaten "tainted" turkey and fish roe, leading to lower abdominal trouble in a movie theater bathroom with no toilet paper. I thought she was going to bean him with the microphone for telling that.....LOL.

Later, their son asked everyone in the crowd who had been married 50 years to stand up, and I was surprised to see at least 15 couples rise. That must be a first in this day and age, when couples staying together that long is the exception rather than the rule. There were about 150 people in attendance, so that was a good percentage.

We don't know these people really well; our younger daughter has been good friends with one of their daughters for at least 30 years, and I have done some Christmas decorating work for them in the past. We were surprised and pleased to have been invited.

While we were at my mother's birthday party last weekend, and after we found out that my newly-found cousins were all living on the coast of NC, Miss kenju mentioned to them that she had been in that area just the week before, visiting the same people who had the anniversary party. They have a house at the beach. My cousins didn't know this man, but they know his brother. That brother was at the anniversary party, and I spoke to him, mentioning my cousins. He was sort of interested in that coincidence and said that just the day before he had mentioned to his brother that he needed to call (my cousin) to ask how many bales of hay he wanted to buy for his horses. I continue to be amazed at the synchronicity of it all.

I almost attended the University of Cincinnati; I had an uncle living in Cincinnati (father's brother). After college, I moved to Norfolk, VA; I had an uncle (also father's brother) in Norfolk at the time. One of the cousins lived here in Raleigh and went to NCSU and UNC. My birth parent's two adopted children lived in Raleigh for about ten years. None of us knew about each other - or the whereabouts of any others while this was going on. Miss kenju told someone the other day it was like something you see on Oprah. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.....LOL


JeanMac said...

Oooh,I love this post.Well, except about you or Mr. Kenju beaning one another:)
I love her robe in the wedding picture - I have a passion for older fashions, esp. the 40's

ET said...

Great post!
If you get arrested for murder call on my wife to be an expert character witness. She had to put with a spouse heart attack victim, then about a year later a spouse heart-attack & stroke victim.

sage said...

Here's hoping you do make it to 50! It'll take you that long to track down all these lost cousins of yours. The "meeting" story sounds interesting (for someone else to have experienced).

Grannymar said...

I love Family story and coincidences.

I would date that photo to pre World War 1. Am I close?

Nancy said...

Take heart, Judy,it can't be all bad with Mr.Kenju and his illness.

At least you don't have to carry his parts around in front of the whole world.

Roy lost his right leg 3 years ago and his habit now is to take the leg off and put it on the back seat of the car while we are driving long distances.(The car has special left footed drive)

When we stop at a rest stop on the turnpike it is my chore to get the leg for him. I have to pick up this leg that already has a shoe and sock on it and carry it around to the driver's side so he can put it on.

If you ever want to see strange looks on people's faces just follow us around! Little kids are the best. They don't even pretend they are not staring at the lady carrying a big leg under her arm.

It's a riot and both of us always get a good laugh out of the looks we get. We smile back and that sometimes starts a conversation with the lookers who are usually very cordial and interested in the situation. They never fail to ask if we need any help. People are so nice..

I admit it is a strain and not always fun but we haven't killed each other yet, neither will you and Mr Kenju!

Please invite us to your 50th.....

Evil Twin's Wife said...

We have a set of neighbors who recently celebrated their 70th anniversary! Heck, I think couples who make it past 10 are a novelty these days.

I love the coincidences in your life with your biological family. I have some strange things like that with mine as well. Weird, how things work out sometimes....

Granny Annie said...

You do realize if anything happens to Mr. Kenju, you have posted some serious evidence against yourself?

Another great post. Thanks for sharing!

Anil P said...

50 years is a long journey, indeed, an event I'll look forward to read on your blog six years hence.

whimsical brainpan said...

Wonderful post!

Synchronicity is pretty damn cool isn't it.

Bob-kat said...

Sounds like it was a lovely 'do' and so nice to hear that people make it to 50 years together.

The aftermath of strokes can be difficult for the patient and those who are closest to them (as you well know). We experienced a similar thing with my grandmother. She would get resentful and angry at times and take it out on those around her adn sometimes it would just be frustratin dealing with the mood swings. I hope you both manage not to resort to murder and make it to the 50 yrs :)

Chancy said...

56 years here...57 in November :)

Jamie Dawn said...

50 years of marriage is quite an accomplishment.
Of course that does NOT mean 50 years of wedded bliss!!
I think you and Mr, Kenju WILL make it to 50 years, but to be safe, please get rid of all guns and sharp knives.
It is neat to find out about family members that you didn't know of. AND to find that some of them live in NC is wonderful!
Oprah may be calling you soon! If not for the family stuff, then for the creative way you got rid of Mr. Kenju without being prosecuted.

Beverly said...

I love your post...and the comments, especially Nancy's about the leg...too funny.

I do hope you make it to 50 also. Keep truckin'.

PI said...

I really feel for you Judy. Men make dreadful patients on the whole and inevitably take it out their frustrations on their nearest and dearest. Not just men of course and who knows if one had a stroke how one would cope. Don't let it get too bad - counselling can be a god-send and a life saver.
I love the photsand the fur trim.

Ginnie said...

There seems to be a point in most marriages where, if you can make it past 40 years together the rest is a given and you're tied to each other for as long as you live. I always marvel at those couples.
Men are notoriously bad patients so hang in there. At least you have a great sense of humor.

Gladys said...

Loved Nancy's wonderful story of the leg in the back seat of the car...what would we do without a sense of humor?

Rauf said...

Even if you have a gun and fire, nothing will happen Judy. Long life is your family asset, your mom is still alive ! how wonderful and how lucky !!

44 years speak of love, what ever my be the differences. A life of perfect give and take and adjustments for others to learn.
Its fine if you throw a plate or a flower vase.
Congratulations Judy

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

Hang in there, Judy. My friends with sick spouses tell me it is really rough--and then you feel guilty, right?

Love the old photo and look forward to seeing more. September 6 would have been my 50th anniversary; I'm debating about sending my ex a card. We are on good terms. And I went to my 50 year class reunion 3 years ago.

moon said...

I love the wonders of synchronicity, always amazing to hear stories of it and when it happens to you.
Indeed, to have 15 cpls in the same room all married over 50 yrs is quite incredible!!
I certainly hope u and hubby make it that far lol...It can only get BETTER... yes BETTER I said...keep that in mind...on those REALLY bad days lol, My fav saying is THIS TOO SHALL PASS... repeated to myself, during the worst of times, has actually helped me in the past, and surely in my future trials to come.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Very very interesting, my dear....The many connections are quite amazing!
I'm sorry to read of your troubles Judy...And I hope things smooth out for you and Mr. Krnju. I don't know that you wish to share the difficulties caused by the stroke, but it obviously has been and continues to quite hard.
You are so close to that 50 year mark...I hope you make it, my dear.

Badaunt said...

So many couples reaching 50 years is probably a first EVER. People didn't used to live that long!

Best of luck (and patience) with the patient. We've been going through something similar here, although not for much longer, I hope. The Man is gradually getting better, and his temper is improving.