Questions and Answers from a Senior Citizens Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."
Smile, You've still got your sense of humor, right?
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."
Smile, You've still got your sense of humor, right?
18 comments:
These are so funny Judy! Have a wonderful week! I know my mom misses you and your humor!
So many of these fit me. Should I be worried?
I love the braless suggestion! I've wondered how to justify losing the underwire just to be comfortable
A little scary how close to home those hit! LOL!
BTW - I see what you mean re: your last post - very similar households! :)
bwhahaha! I'm forwarding this to my mom. Yes, I'm the obnoxious "young" daughter still. But she's used to it. ;)
Thx for the laugh!
-bm
They will keep me laughing for the day!
I loved the one about finishing the basement and having a place to live one. That's what my dad loved about their house - it was big and it had a finished basement. He always had a place to hang out if the weather wasn't warm enough to be walking, golfing or gardening!
Love the first one! They were all fitting.
I'm not 60+, but a lot of these apply to me already! Yay!!
I'm not 60+ yet either but these apply to me too!
Oh well - I'll just hope people find me charming.
thanks for the laughs.
Just what I needed this morn! What a good laugh.
Oh, boy. These are starting to sound familiar. Thanks for the chuckles. Michele is still hosting the game.
So that is the reason why Ted E is finishing the basement.
Who knew!
Funny, funny! At least we can laugh at ourselves.
These things used to be funny. Now, I write them down because, like Marty McFly's father in Back to the Future, this is some good stuff.
I have a fun meme running, and you have been tagged! http://hastyruminations.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/tagged-im-it/
Ok, I laughed at Mary riding Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt!! Funny!
~S
These are so funny, Judy! LOL! I love so much these: "How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-wrinkles?" and "What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?". This last one is just FUNNY!!! Thanks for this big laugh!!!
Now I've had my good laugh for the day and feel 5 years younger! I just might try the wrinkle-removal suggestion. Should be good for a few more laughs..... ;-)
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