Monday, May 26

Questions and Answers from a Senior Citizens Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."

Smile, You've still got your sense of humor, right?


Anna said...

These are so funny Judy! Have a wonderful week! I know my mom misses you and your humor!

Betty said...

So many of these fit me. Should I be worried?

TravelinOma said...

I love the braless suggestion! I've wondered how to justify losing the underwire just to be comfortable

Seamus said...

A little scary how close to home those hit! LOL!

BTW - I see what you mean re: your last post - very similar households! :)

The Beast Mom said...

bwhahaha! I'm forwarding this to my mom. Yes, I'm the obnoxious "young" daughter still. But she's used to it. ;)

Thx for the laugh!


Grannymar said...

They will keep me laughing for the day!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I loved the one about finishing the basement and having a place to live one. That's what my dad loved about their house - it was big and it had a finished basement. He always had a place to hang out if the weather wasn't warm enough to be walking, golfing or gardening!

Changes in the wind said...

Love the first one! They were all fitting.

tiff said...

I'm not 60+, but a lot of these apply to me already! Yay!!

Dianne said...

I'm not 60+ yet either but these apply to me too!

Oh well - I'll just hope people find me charming.

thanks for the laughs.

JeanMac said...

Just what I needed this morn! What a good laugh.

colleen said...

Oh, boy. These are starting to sound familiar. Thanks for the chuckles. Michele is still hosting the game.

Bear Naked said...

So that is the reason why Ted E is finishing the basement.
Who knew!

Beverly said...

Funny, funny! At least we can laugh at ourselves.

Greg Finnegan said...

These things used to be funny. Now, I write them down because, like Marty McFly's father in Back to the Future, this is some good stuff.

I have a fun meme running, and you have been tagged!

Shephard said...

Ok, I laughed at Mary riding Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt!! Funny!


Sonia A. Mascaro said...

These are so funny, Judy! LOL! I love so much these: "How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-wrinkles?" and "What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?". This last one is just FUNNY!!! Thanks for this big laugh!!!

Sandy said...

Now I've had my good laugh for the day and feel 5 years younger! I just might try the wrinkle-removal suggestion. Should be good for a few more laughs..... ;-)