Monday, February 4

Only in America (Oldies but Goodies)

Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Anna said...

It is hard to believe that we are in contact everyday now! I love that and I love that you find these things and share them!


I think that I can put on mascara without opening my mouth. Michele sent me.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...These are all so wonderful Judy....I have seen them before, but it is GREAT to see them once again....I love being reminded of some these Only In America Ironies....!
And why IS IT that you buy 10 Hot Dogs and only 8 Buns???? LOL!

I like that one anout CONgress and PROgress, too....!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant!
Susan, England

ET said...

The second one is me.

Blonde Goddess said...

I NEVER drink diet coke...but that one is SO true.
Do you have any idea how many times I've had to return my coke because they've given me a diet one?


gautami tripathy said...


I think most would stand good for India too!

Michele is still on her M& know..:D

Kristi said...

These are interesting! And yes, I would always order a diet coke when I used to eat at fast food restaurants. Apparently, I was trying to fool myself into thinking I was saving a few calories.

Diane Mandy said...

I think the Only in America part is really pretty accurate. How I miss really large bugers and fries!!

PI said...

Some of those are brilliant. I wonder how many people dreamt them up. Particularly like the politics and the black box.

JeanMac said...

The airport one was scary good!

Roland said...

Michele sent me to ponder your questions.
I think the hot dogs = buns ratio is due to the fact that the person grilling often 'taste tests' a few hot dogs before serving them & so there is no need for buns for those valiant hot dogs sacrificed to the cause of excellent hot dogs for all.
(I've been meaning to stop by & thank you also, for all your kind words on my blog)

Anonymous said...

I liked Congress versus progress, esp. today. As usual, it's fun (and funny) catching up. Of all people, you definitely get my vote for a 'brighten my day' award.

I love your cigar boxes- I have quite a large collection of them gathered at a local store that used to give them out. They don't any longer. Some of the wood ones are quite beautiful. I use mine for knitting, sewing odds and ends.

Shephard said...

I'm guessing mice taste like chicken... therefore, there is mouse-flavored cat food. lol