Wednesday, October 31

Email Sayings ~ Oldies but Goodies

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive - You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed - skydiving is not for you.

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

But, what if I want the one in the bush?

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people makeup 75% of the population.

15 comments:

Awareness said...

great lines...!

I always wondered that about blondes.....how would they know? heehee.

utenzi said...

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

That line really reminds me of college, Judy. I don't think I've been that drunk since then.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL....Very Funny, Judy...
I think my favorite is the Smoking Section....! HA! But, they are ALL wonderful!

Don't forget to DVR or tape or watch MAD MEN tonight, Judy...10pm(?) on AMC....They are repeating the series and tonight is the first episode. Enjoy!

Star said...

Happy Belated birthday wished Judy. I love the picture of your goblins.What is on the tapestry hanging on the wall behind them?

Laura said...

Judy!! A most happy "belated" birthday to you! That is a wonderful picture of you and your birth mother. Here's to more lemonnade than lemons in all the days to come!

Anonymous said...

I love all the sayings:

How about these?

A blonde and her boyfriend bought a Pregnancy testing kit and as they watched, it turned POSITIVE.

"Oh my God, said the blonde."Is it mine?"


State Mottos: They had a contest to have a new Motto for New Jersey.

The Winner?

'WHAT'S THAT SMELL?'

PI said...

Aint they the truth?

tiff said...

The Xeorox one is hilarious!!!

All of them are pretty good, ackshully.

Square1 said...

I love the "Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." Great line that one is.

Michele sent me.

Pearl said...

Heard some of those oldies but not these three that made me smile:

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

But, what if I want the one in the bush?

sage said...

I like that fool and his money one... I'm just a fool without money :( Lol

vicki said...

I always want the one in the bush. Sigh. these are very funny. Oh- I'll be interested to hear what you think of Mad Men.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

"One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day."

I'm not meeting new people yet but I've forgotten what everyone's name is!

Weary Hag said...

Lovin the Smith and Wesson one!!!

Shephard said...

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?

I LOVE IT! lol
~S