Back in the 70's, my son had a basketball goal on the driveway of our former house. There were often a group of boys from the neighborhood in residence and most were well behaved as they shot baskets and played horse. There was one who didn't always act in a good way, and his fun was achieved by sarcasm and trash-talking my boy, who was at least 6 years younger. I stood inside the house, watching and listening one day. I happened to pass in earshot and didn't like what I was hearing. When the mean, nasty, degrading talk became more than I could take, I went out and told the kid to go home if he couldn't treat my boy and my yard with respect.
He started to leave, tossed the ball over his shoulder and turned, saying..."Kiss my ass." From somewhere deep down inside, a memory of an insult I had learned 20 years earlier, I replied....."It looks too much like your face."
For several days, I berated myself for talking in a manner that was actually down on his level, and for saying in front of my boy, who was about 8-9 at the time. Finally, I sat my boy down and apologized for getting involved, and for what I had said.
Know what he told me? That the kid had a great deal of respect for me now that I had answered him in kind - and he probably would not be bothering my boy again. And he didn't.
19 comments:
Kenju, very good! Now, if I give you the address, will you draft a letter to President Bush along those lines?
Two days ago I said something I regret to someone I was very frustrated with. I hope I can let it go soon and maybe she just knows I have boundaries now.
So hey, are you going 81 or the Parkway. If it's the Parkway I can come down the drive and see your wave!
I'm storing that retort in a safe place for use in a future emergency.
:-)
Hi, Kenju,
I'm just getting caught up on all your posts. I'll bet your A/C is doing double duty these days. When we were driving today, the temps outside were anywhere from 96 to 100 according to the car. When I got to my county in Florida, it was 92.
I love the Maxine cartoons and wholeheartedly agree with her and you.
Looks like we all have tangled with children picking on our children and we are the ones who ended up learning valuable lessons. Thanks for you nice comments on my story.
Cute story. I'd love to be bold enough to tell off some snot faced kid like that. Usually, I just give 'em the hairy eyeball and let it go.
I LOVE that you said what you did to that kid.
He needed a good dose of his own medicine, and you served him a good-sized dose!
His "kiss my ass" comment was meant to bully you just like he bullied your son.
It didn't work.
Sometimes you just have to give as good as you get and communicate on a different level. I learned that long ago.
that's hilarious! I had never heard that retort before. Will have to use it if the opportunity arises.
Are you kidding? You'd have been my hero. lol
~S
Our son (eight at the time) came home from the bus stop with a black eye and bloody nose. Two bigger boys had beaten him up. He begged us not to call their parents or get involved.
Later that day my husband was out shoveling snow when the two culprits walked by. Dee grabbed them by their jackets and knocked their heads together and told them to leave our son alone. That night we learned that our perfect son had beaten up their little kindergarten brothers at the bus stop earlier that day, and this was his comeuppance. We learned not to interfere after that!
The perfect retort! Well done.
Sometimes ya just have to get in the trenches. Excellent retort!
Hi.
I'm about to leave for work, so I'll read the story this evening. In the meantime, try again on my HATS! blog to see those pics. I re-did 'em. Hope it works this time. Lemme know, please.
Judy,
Don't you love it when just at the exact right time you think of the exact right thing to say to a person who is bullying you?
Many years ago I had a very bad neighbor. She was just miserable and did some stupid things to annoy me. She loved confrontation and would think of all sorts of remarks to make but could never get a rise out of me because I completely ignored her .
This frustrated her so much that one day in front of all the other neighbors she shouted at me." GO TO HELL"
It was at that moment that my perfect retort came to me and I said very quietly" No, I don't want to go to Hell and take the chance of being your neighbor again."
She never spoke to me after that and peace was restored to the neighborhood.
NANCY: that was a perfect retort. I may have to use that one sometime! LOL
My kid copped an attitude once, when he was around 16, said, "You're a real asshole, you know it?"
"Yup," I said, "Guess it runs in the family."
Great story Judy!! :-)
Once, when I was about 12 or so, I was playing with friends a few blocks from my house. Their block was pretty neat because a creek ran through their back yards.
One day one of the friends' younger brother was being a turd. Some sort of construction was going on near the creek, and there were huge piles of dirt on either side of it. The younger brother started hurling clumps of dirt at me and one of the other kids. I picked up a clump and threw back at him. I have always had a terrible throwing arm, so I was coming nowhere near him with my throws. Then I reached down and picked up the nearest thing, which turned out to be a small rock.
A small thought stole across my mind that a rock was unfair, as all he was throwing were clumps of dirt. So small was the thought that I disregarded it at once, stood erect, and chucked it at him.
And wouldn't you know it! I had perfect aim on that one, and it connected, with his right earlobe caught between it and his head!
Of course, his mother learned of nothing that had transpired before my rock hit him, and I was banished from "playing" with him ever again!
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