Wednesday, May 9

Calling All Word Lovers.....

ENJOY!

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by procotologists.

Pokemon (n.), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversations with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
<<<<<<<<<<<


Thanks to everyone who sympathized with me and offered advice about my fall. I have always been a person who heals quickly, and I don't expect this time to be any different. I can promise you that I will be exquisitely careful in the shower from now on
.

20 comments:

Karen said...

I love those things!

PI said...

Judy - just a quickie at crack of dawn. I have finally got the link to work - with Nea's help bur its spread over three posts. Bugger html! And also I woke very early thinking you may consider a let-down seat in the shower then you can wash your hair - closing your eyes and putting your head back can often be disorienting. Give it a thought.

mar said...

So sorry about the shower incident but I am glad to see you never lose your sense of humor! I love the list, people are very creative :)
Have a wonderful day!

Greg said...

"Exquisite" is a great word, and the one I was going to use to describe this list. It hit the spot!

Anna said...

These were great Judy.....

Have a good day! :)

Cris said...

I love those, the coffee one is great, because it is usually so mispronounced here as English is a second language to many people here.

AC said...

Haha! I needed the laugh this morning! I particularly like flabbergasted and abdicate. Lets have some lunch! I promise to show up!

I just read about your fall -- I'm sorry! Those moments between losing balance and hitting the floor are something, aren't they. I'm glad you are okay.

Kristi said...

LOL. These are great. Love "Willy-Nilly" the best. And I'm so sorry to hear you've fallen. Feel better soon, and be careful! We like our Kenju in one piece. :)

Geraldo said...

Kenju,
These are real winners! They reminded me of the Sniglets of the 80s, that were defined as "words that should be in the dictionary, but aren't" (they were the creation of comedian Rich Hall, on the HBO show Not Necessarily The News). An example: Sirlines=The lines on a grilled steak...
But these are even better, because they're new meanings for existing words!

Badabing said...

Judy --- You have me rolling on the floor LMAO with those words.

Finn said...

Thank you for this list; 'tis wonderful!

Hope you heal quickly! Michele sent me today to check on you...

Laura said...

Loved the play on words! I always get a kick out of those types of things.

Just read about your fall and I cringed as I read the description. I am so glad you are okay!!!!
Looks like you're going to have to stop singing and dancing in the shower from now on. ;) j/k

Beverly said...

Oh, those are so good. Thanks for posting them.

Awareness said...

Hi Judy.......great word defs! Love Negligent!

Hope you're healing well.....what a fall you had!

take care....

Bob-kat said...

I love these alternative meanings! They remind me a little of a book written by Douglas Adams called The Meaning of Liff, where he gave meanings to place names a sif they were not proper nouns.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL..These are great! Really clever and funny! LKove It, Judy...Thanks fr a good laugh!

Shephard said...

Judy, hope your back is feeling all better today.
~S

rosemary said...

I am rolling on the floor...love every single one of them. Not quite the same but there is a little town just south of us that is called Athol....just thinking

Mamacita said...

I have been kind of "out of it" lately, haven't I. Shame on me.

I hope you are feeling better, and please be careful! The Blogosphere would not be complete with Kenju.

When can you come over? I'll even dust for you!

colleen said...

Who thinks up these?! I do love reading them.